No Longer the Same
by Fingersnaps
Summary: A sequel to my story 'Too Far', this will probably make more sense if you read that one first! Written for 'A Year in the Life' Challenge over on NFA, it aims to show how Tim changes after the events of 'Too Far', will cross over with NCIS LA.
1. Chapter 1

5

**No Longer the Same**

**[b]Try To Find My Place[/b]**

The apartment looked so empty; most of his books and records had been put into storage, along with his typewriter. He was more than happy for Sarah to stay here while he was in LA, but he knew his little sister well enough to know that there might be the occasional party, and he had spent too long getting his collections together to have them ruined by a bunch of over hyped students. He almost gave himself a head slap for that, showing your age there Tim, let the kids have their fun, just because he'd never been a party animal at MIT, no reason to deny Sarah and her friends a little off-campus down-time. Sarah already had the spare set of keys, and he had arranged to leave his set with his neighbour; she could pick them up later.

He walked slowly through the rooms, one last check before he locked the door for the last time. Would it be the last time? His assignment was for six months, but after that…could he see himself moving back here? In truth, no…without Jethro the place had ceased to be home, it was somewhere to crash when he was too exhausted to stay awake any longer. Because when he slept the nightmares came…

"Tim! Are you in here?"

He glanced at his watch, Sarah should be in school.

"In the bedroom. What are you doing here? I thought you had class."

She ran into the bedroom and smothered him in a clinch that had him gasping for breath.

"Did you think I was going to let you go without a proper goodbye? I can catch up on Coleridge any time…"

"You're not having the car Sarah, I told you, it's too powerful and you need more experience…"

She gripped him tighter.

"You seriously think that's why I came? To beg for your stupid car? Tim, we almost lost you for ever, you don't remember it, but in the hospital…"

Sarah couldn't find the words…how do you describe seeing your big brother lying on a hospital bed, so pale…a machine breathing for him, tubes and monitors everywhere, as your Mom and Dad cried and prayed, and cried again?

He kissed the top of her head, and held her close, waiting for the trembling to subside.

"I know Sarah…don't cry or you'll get me started, and that won't do my Special Agent image much good."

"I was so scared Tim, and now you're going so far away…will you come back do you think?"

How to answer that one when he didn't know himself…

"We'll see, but you can come out to LA for a visit in the summer, Mom and Dad too."

Sarah couldn't help but smile at that.

"You think Dad will be able to tear himself away from the car? I mean, driving around in a Porsche for six months; he may not want to leave it just to come visit you!"

Tim rolled his eyes, it was true; their Dad had been like the cat that got the cream ever since Tim asked him to look after his car, and drive it whenever he liked.

"Good point! Sarah…I have to go now, my cab will be waiting."

She gave him one last hug; he took the keys from his pocket and handed them to Sarah.

"All yours kiddo…try not to upset the neighbours, at least not too much."

Sarah kissed his cheek.

"You look after yourself Tim, and if you need to talk…"

"I'll call Dad. You stop worrying about me Sarah; I'm A1, ready for field duty. It's about time for you to concentrate on your studies, and let me get back to worrying about my little sister."

He picked up his bag and headed for the door.

"Call me when you're settled!"

"I said stop worrying, call your friends…have a housewarming party, and Sarah, have fun!"

His cab was waiting, and he settled back in his seat as the driver pulled out into the traffic. It was another bitter cold January day, but the sky was blue, and there was little or no wind; exactly the kind of day he loved when he had Jethro to take for a walk. They'd step out briskly and hardly feel the cold…but Jethro was gone, his ashes buried in the garden at home, come spring Mom was going to plant a rose tree to mark the spot, she'd decided on a white rose…white for remembrance…Tim needed to remember, if only to keep in mind that acting in haste can have lasting consequences. His actions that night had resulted in Jethro's death, and but for the greed of two college kids looking for their next high he could have died himself, out there in that bleak, rain-washed parkland.

Despite the heat in the cab, he shivered, he couldn't remember much about that night and its aftermath, but the anguished faces of his family when he woke in hospital told him everything he needed to know about how close he had come…they told him later how his heart had stopped more than once…Timothy McGee had 'died'; only for moments, but the fact remained that without the expert medical care he had received he would not be embarking on this journey today.

He sat in the departure lounge at Reagan National; it was still not too late to change his mind, fresh doubts crowded in on him. Was he taking the coward's way out? Should he stay and try to rebuild a working relationship with Tony? Was he heading for a new challenge, or simply running away from his old life? He was sleeping better, but sometimes…sometimes the dreams were so real. He was lying in the mud, Jethro cold and lifeless beside him, the rain beating down relentlessly, so cold…then he wasn't cold any longer, he was at peace, he was dead…

Director Vance knew he was still having therapy, but Doctor Sutter was happy to let Tim return to field duties provided he continued his sessions with a therapist out in LA. His flight was boarding, time to decide Tim, stay or go…

As the plane neared Los Angeles International Airport Tim's doubts faded. He couldn't go back to Gibbs and the others, not now, not so soon…he needed to put some distance between them, not simply physical distance, he needed to break from them mentally…get away from the Probie, the Elf Lord; be the man he knew he could be.

He strode out of the airport, most of his belongings had been shipped already, so he only had his carry on bag and he'd cleared security in double quick time. There was a long line at the cab rank, but he was in no hurry, his first stop would be his hotel, try and get some shut-eye. Then he had two days before he was due to report to OSP headquarters. With luck he would have found a furnished rental by then, he had a list from Eric that looked promising…the line was moving slowly, but he didn't mind, he was enjoying the comparative warmth of a Los Angeles afternoon, such a contrast to the cold of DC…the cold that had almost killed him, he revelled in the higher temperature, this was better already.

"Tim! Hey Tim McGee!"

He turned to the direction of the voice, and recognised him instantly.

"Man, you're a fast mover, I thought I'd meet you in Arrivals, but you'd cleared security before I got there."

Tim held up his bag.

"Quicker if you don't have hold luggage. Good to see you Nate."

Nate shook Tim's hand, and gave himself a moment to look over his new 'patient'. He had barely recognised him, and it was only because Director Vance had warned him how much weight Tim had lost that he'd given the gaunt man in the cab line a second look.

"Good to see you Tim…Welcome to LaLa Land, you look as if you could use a little of Hetty's TLC, and a dose of Californian sunshine. The car's over there, let's go, no need for a cab, I'm here to take you wherever you need to go."

"I don't mind getting a cab Nate, you must be busy."

"Callen's orders Tim, nothing's too much trouble for our new team mate, where are you staying?"

Tim followed Nate Getz to his car, and let those words filter into his brain…new team mate…so it was real, time to change, off with the old…on with the new…

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	2. Chapter 2

Sorrow Still Remains

It was dark, always dark…always cold, bone-chilling, numbing cold…and rain, like needles of ice, driving him to the ground, he tried to get up, he knew he always tried to get up, but he was powerless, his limbs were frozen, his mind was clouded, he was lost…he was soaking wet, and he knew they weren't going to get to him in time…then they saw him, but it was too late, the glassy green eyes stared sightless, lifeless into the endless night

"No!"

He heard the cry, was that him? Then he felt the soft hands shaking him awake.

"Are you okay?"

Was he? And who was she? He shivered, his body was bathed in cold sweat, the bedclothes damp against his skin/

"That must have been some nightmare Tony."

He struggled to sit up…she had no idea. It was the same nightmare every time, and every time they were too late, Tim was lying exactly as they had found him that freezing day, but in his dreams they never found him alive…he always saw those eyes wide open and staring, not a hint of movement as the rain beat down on Tim's face…he was haunted by Tim's eyes, by the constant reminder that it was his fault Tim was gone, and that if Tim had died that day, his death would be on his conscience for ever.

"Hey, Tony…you with me?"

He gave the lovely young woman sharing his bed his full attention. What was her name? Candy…no, Mandy…no, Brandy! That was it.

"Yeah…I'm okay…bad dream, that's all. Look, I have to get to work early, the room's booked until noon, so take your time getting up, you might want to give that whirlpool tub another go."

She put her arms around his neck and attempted to kiss him.

"It's not much fun on my own, much better with two…"

Tony unwrapped her arms and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Sound great, but I can't afford to be late for work, my boss has been in a bad mood for weeks, I don't need to give him a stick to beat me with."

He grabbed his clothes from the floor of yet another anonymous hotel room. He didn't even take them home any more, didn't want them to know where he lived…not that he knew them for long, but he could usually remember their names. This has to stop DiNozzo, trying to bury the guilt by sleeping with every woman in DC was obviously not working, perhaps it was time to listen to Ducky, see a therapist…maybe then he could get a full night's sleep.

Forty minutes later he was showered and changed, and the trademark DiNozzo air of nonchalance was back in place, at least to the outside world. It was only those who knew him really well who could see that the smile was more forced than usual, that the wisecracks were fewer and further between. But if you didn't look too closely the man who stepped into Abby's lab that morning was the same Anthony DiNozzo who had walked through that door innumerable times before.

Abby was already there, and was changing the Post-It note beneath the picture of Tim. The number now read 54, and the picture, that wasn't the same picture.

"Hey Abs! I bring Caf-Pow."

"Thanks Tony, do you like the new picture? Tim emailed it yesterday."

Tim was standing on the beach, laughing at whoever was holding the camera, the remains of a picnic were laid out on a rug at his feet, and he looked…carefree…

Abby was staring wistfully at the picture.

"He looks happy, don't you think Tony? I'm glad, I am, but…I wish he missed us a little more, missed home..."

"Maybe this doesn't feel like home to him any longer Abs."

She turned and administered a gentle head slap.

"Wash out your mouth! He won't stay, he's enjoying the cool toys; and they are a neat bunch out there, but he'll come home…he has to."

"You're right Abs, he'll come home. Now, I'd better get upstairs or I'm likely to get a much harder slap from Gibbs!"

Abby waved him out of the door, and put the Caf-Pow in the refrigerator. As she closed the door she couldn't help smiling at Tim's picture, but it was a smile tinged with sadness. Already his daily emails had dwindled to one every other day…he was really busy he said, lots to learn, new city to discover, new people to meet, but he looked forward to hearing from her, keeping up with the 'old team', and that's what he called them now, like something from his past, not the here and now.

She had been fully prepared for Tim to fall in love with the toys out in LA, who wouldn't? They were super cool! But what had surprised her was how quickly he had settled in with the people out there. His emails were full of the LA team; how Nate was helping him to deal with the nightmares, so much so that they were almost non-existent now, he slept right through almost every night. Callen and Sam were teaching him so much about operating undercover, he was even picking up a few Arabic words…never knew when they might come in useful. Eric and Kensi had given him the guided tour of the city, showed him the best places to shop, eat, drink…even party. Abby still couldn't quite see her Tim as a party animal, but that was just it, he wasn't her Tim any more…

"Good of you to join us DiNozzo!"

"I went down to see Abby…won't happen again Boss."

Tony got to work at his desk, receiving a sympathetic glance from Ziva as he passed her desk. Gibbs had never been the most tolerant of bosses, but since Tim had gone, since the team had been on probation, he had been like a bear with…Ziva tried to bring the analogy to mind, but really it didn't matter, they seemed to walking on eggshells the whole time. She wished the phone would ring, that they'd have a new case, because the only way things felt even vaguely 'normal' was if they were working, out in the field, at a crime scene, then for a short while they could almost pretend that it was like old times.

Tony had told her how difficult things had been when she had been in Somalia, but, with her Mossad training she should have been well able to deal with this change in her working environment…it had been her life for most of her life…why were things different now? She knew why…she had allowed herself to care…to become part of something, something special, and then she had become part of the reason for ruining that special thing, she had stood aside and let Tim feel that he no one to turn to…and for that she would never forgive herself.

Gibbs stared at the phone…why didn't it ring? They needed a case, something to keep busy; he checked his emails again and smiled. Tim would never believe how often he checked his emails, but it was another way of keeping busy, of filling the hours…and if he was honest, while he was looking at the computer screen, he wasn't looking around the squad room…at Tim's desk, and it was still Tim's desk.

The TAD was a good man. Simon Delaney; from the San Diego office, happily married, with two young children, looking forward to a visit from them this weekend, as he would tell anyone who listened. He loved his family very much, was good at his job, Gibbs had to acknowledge that, he was very good. But he wasn't Tim McGee.

The phone rang and Gibbs grabbed it and barked out his name. He smiled as he listened to the message from dispatch, no one was dead, but a large cache of drugs had been discovered in an empty house on Navy property at Norfolk…something to do at last.

"Grab your gear, Delaney, gas the truck; we're going to Norfolk!"

The team headed briskly for the elevator, all of them delighted to be busy. Leon Vance was on his way to MTAC when he heard Gibbs call his team. He was pleased to see Gibbs giving Delaney something to do, even if it was only gassing the truck, like it or not this was his team now. They all had to come to come to terms with the consequences of McGee's momentous decision. The LA team was delighted with their latest recruit, and Vance was delighted to see a valuable NCIS asset still with the Agency, of course his ears had only just stopped burning from the roasting he had received from Hetty when she saw McGee.

"I thought you had sent us a ghost! It's a good job you sent him out here Leon! How on earth could you have let this happen? He looked half-starved, and so pale. He would have wasted away in DC, you have been neglectful, don't let it happen again!"

She was right too, for all he had disciplined Gibbs and his team, the final responsibility for this agency and its employees rested with him as Director, and although he couldn't be expected to know everything about everyone, he saw Gibbs and his team every day; he admired McGee, used him as an example of how he would like his agents to be. So how could he let things get so bad that McGee was ready to walk away? Hetty was right, they didn't deserve McGee; maybe he was better off in LA.

It was late by the time they got back to headquarters, evidence gathering, interviewing potential suspects, witnesses, then reports to be written; the day was almost done, and the team members were grateful when Gibbs told them to call it a day. They headed for the exit and the parking lot, all except one.

As the elevator made its way down Tony hoped that his journey would not be in vain. He walked into Autopsy, cast a quick glance around the room, good; Jimmy wasn't here.

"Good evening Anthony. What brings you down here at this late hour?"

"Hi Ducky…Ducky you know you said your door was always open?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Buried in the Words**

**7****th**** March **

"Hey Abs, Happy Birthday!"

"Tim! I knew you'd call, I told Gibbs last night, he said you could be busy and I wasn't to be disappointed if you didn't call, but I knew you'd call…and my gift…Oh Tim, it's the most amazing…it's so cool…I love it!"

Tim waited at the other end of the line, he hadn't heard full-throttle Abby for a while, and he'd forgotten how hard it was to get a word in…

"I'm wearing it right now…it's so perfect, where did you find it?"

He'd been at a street market in Venice Beach, Eric was on the look out for more of his favourite Hawaiian shirts and he'd tagged along, looking for nothing in particular, when he saw it. Lying in a row of art work was a silver Native American belt buckle hand-engraved with the man in a maze design. The maze looking for all the world like a crop circle, and he knew he had to get it for Abby. The stall holder mounted the buckle on a thick black leather belt, and Tim left the market that afternoon delighted with his purchase. Hearing Abby's unfeigned delight now, he knew he had made the right choice.

"At a street market in Venice Beach, I'm glad you like it…so Abs, how many bunches of black roses did you get this year?"

She glanced toward the refrigerator, smiling as she saw the four vases filled with black roses; her smile faltered a little as she focussed on Tim's picture, 66, that was the number on the Post It today.

"One from Ducky, Ziva, Tony…I even got one from Jimmy this time! Nothing from Gibbs yet, but you know he likes to surprise me…"

"He's pretty good at it too if I remember."

Gibbs was good at surprises, and Abby had hoped that her surprise this year would be Gibbs telling her that Tim was coming home…but he didn't sound like he was ready to come back, not right now…

**18****th**** March **

It had been a particularly trying day, and Ducky was glad to be home, he was sure there was a headache in the offing, so many reports to be done, and never enough time in which to do them. He was weary, but as he opened the door he was greeted by a sight that cheered him immediately. The cleaner always put the mail in a neat pile on the hall table, and on top he could see his address written in a hand that he recognised at once.

Determined to sit and savour his letter, Ducky quickly made himself a sandwich, poured a small glass of whisky and sat in his favourite armchair.

He thought back to the conversation he and Timothy had had some months ago about the relative merits of electronic and 'snail' mail. Ducky had maintained that, marvellous as email was for instant communication, there was nothing quite like receiving a letter through the mail, and sitting comfortably, glass in hand, enjoying a leisurely read. So Tim had promised to write to him from LA, and as Ducky slit open the envelope with his silver letter-opener he could see that Timothy had ensured that he would be reading from the finest paper, he pulled from the tissue lined envelope two sheets of cream vellum, deckle edged paper, he held it up to the light…as he had suspected, it was watermarked.

Ducky found that his hands were trembling a little; things had been very different these last months, different, but certainly not better. He took a sip of whisky, and unfolded the letter.

_Dear Ducky_

_I never thought I'd enjoy writing letters so much! You were right, aren't you always! It makes you think a little more, emails are so instant, you dash off a few quick thoughts, and they're gone into the ether. But a letter, you can add things each day, and you have to think a little more, take time, and sit quietly, not at a computer screen. And it's a really sensory thing, holding the pen; did you notice I got a fountain pen? The sound of the nib scraping across the paper, the warmth of the paper under your hand, hey, if I didn't know better, I'd say I was 'waxing lyrical', must be your influence!_

_Things are so great out here, and I don't just mean the weather! I'm learning so many new things, not that I didn't learn a lot with Gibbs and the others. It's new, and different out here, I still have so much to learn about the city, and the undercover ops, and looking after myself in a fight. I thought Gibbs was tough, but Sam Hannah, he's like a man mountain, and I put him on his back the other day…probably a fluke, but it felt so…amazing!_

_It's a great team Ducky, and I'm so lucky to be a part of it, to think I almost walked away from all this._

_I miss you Ducky, miss our talks, having a glass of wine together, just sorry I never did get the taste for single malt. Hey, something I have developed a taste for, and you'll never believe this; tea! Hetty showed me how to make a 'proper' cup of tea, warming the pot, china cups, the whole package, it's almost as intricate as the Japanese tea ceremony! And you know what, it tastes so different, I can't see me ever going back to a tea bag in a cup of hot water. If I come back to DC I'll have to show you my new tea-making skills…Sam says I'm really part of the team now, seems Hetty showing you how to make tea is like an initiation. _

Ducky put down the letter for a moment; all of a sudden he was finding it difficult to focus…**if** he came to DC, not when…was Timothy really thinking of staying out in California? Well, why not? His new team mates seemed to have taken him in and treated him as an equal, as a respected colleague, and as Ducky knew all too well, he did not feel the same way about how he was treated here in DC.

_How's the house sale going? You can't have moved, or you'd have sent me a forwarding address, at least I hope you would! That house must be tough to live in without your mom, so many memories; I think you're doing the right thing, and the Georgetown place sounds perfect, less of a commute too. _

_I noticed there's a big Medical Examiner's conference in LA next month, if you're coming out for that I'd love to get together. I'd offer you a place to stay, but I'm in a one bed rental, not the best place to entertain guests. We could meet up for dinner though, and you could tell me some more of your stories. I miss them, although Hetty has a pretty amazing hoard of stories too. Oh wow! If she could come to dinner too, man that would be a conversation I would love to witness! _

_Think about it Ducky, I know with the house move and everything you may not want to attend yet another conference, but remember if you do, dinner's on me!_

_Be careful out there!_

_Tim_

Ducky got up and poured himself another drink, it was true, he had a lot on his plate, and he'd been to enough conferences to last anyone a lifetime, but the chance to meet up with Timothy…there was no denying it, he missed the lad, and it would be a treat to see him again. He put down the letter and switched on his lap top, after all, there was no harm in checking out the dates for the conference.

**20****th**** March**

"Looks as if Brice is on his way to LA, can't see any reason for us to head out there when we have a crackerjack team just waiting to help out."

"Hey! You think we don't have enough work out here? Don't worry Jethro, we'll get Brice, and send him back home to DC, anything else OPSEC can do for you?"

"I'm sure I could think of something…G…McGee...is he settling in...I, I made mistakes, with McGee, bad mistakes…"

"We've all made mistakes Gibbs, sometimes fatal, but we have to move on."

"He almost died; not because of some terrorist strike, or in a shoot-out with some crazy gunman, but because of my neglect…that kind of mistake, it's tough to move on from that…"

"Don't remember anyone ever saying life was going to be easy."

"How's he doing G? Honestly."

There was a momentary silence as Callen tried to find the right way to phrase his reply; truth was Tim was doing great, but maybe that wasn't what Gibbs needed to hear. But he'd been asked for an honest answer.

"Best way I can put it; it's like he's always been here; took him a little time to find his feet. When he first came he was still…he still had nightmares, looked like a ghost; but with Hetty and Nate on the case, well, let's just say his recovery was never in doubt."

"No more nightmares?"

"I wouldn't say none, he's not likely to forget that night in a hurry; but there's nothing that affects his work."

"That's good…he talk much about…about DC?"

"Hardly ever. You know Jethro; I think he's trying to make a clean break, after everything that happened…Nate tells me Tim needed the emotional distance even more than the physical distance. Tim does talk about some of the cases the team worked."

"But not about the team…"

Callen had never heard Gibbs so hesitant, and he knew he should be offering words of comfort to an old friend, but he'd seen Tim when he arrived, almost a broken man, almost, and he'd seen Tim grow stronger, happier, become one of them, he had to let it out.

"Damn it Jethro! How did you let it get so bad? Tim is…well, he's brilliant, and not just with computers, he's terrific in the field, has a great eye for detail, picks up on things we would have missed, if he sees someone struggling, he helps them. Tim's a good man Jethro, a team man…you helped to make him a first class agent, but if you couldn't see what you had, if you and your team couldn't see the real Tim McGee…well, maybe DC isn't the right place for him."

There was no response from Gibbs, and Callen thought he had gone too far; but Gibbs was always a man who liked to take his medicine unsweetened.

"Maybe you're right; I can't even pretend I saw what was happening and figured it would make a man of him. I didn't see it; just saw Tony being the way he always is, and Ziva…why am I telling you this? You don't even know them."

Callen kept the thought to himself, but if these were the people who had driven Tim to resign from NCIS, he wasn't sure he wanted to know them.

"Jethro, I don't know what you need to hear, it was your team, you ran it the way you though was right, just like I do…and sometimes…we fail. I lost one of my team, you almost lost one of yours…all we can do, is get out, or carry on…and we're both ornery enough to keep going."

That did elicit a laugh from Gibbs, they both knew it was true, Callen may not know his own first name, but he was pretty sure stubborn was his middle name, and he was much like Jethro in that regard.

"You watch out for him G, and please, do a better job than I managed."

"You got it Jethro, talk to you soon."

Callen switched off his phone; now he knew just how badly Jethro had been shaken by the events that led Tim to LA, Gibbs never said please…

**31****st**** March**

To: .mil

From: .mil

I was going to call you, but I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to me – so I've taken the easy way out. I have to tell you, I'm sorry, really sorry this time, not just taking your food sorry, or super glue sorry. I pushed you away from the team, almost got you killed…no excuses, it's on me.

What I want to say is, don't blame Ziva for any of this, I dragged her in and I think after Michael, and Somalia…she thinks she owes me something, so she went along with my stupid, sick…I can't even type the word…how could I ever think it was funny? I've head slapped myself so many times since you left…see I still can't stop fooling around. Some things never change.

It's changed round here Tim, the new guy, he's fine, but he's not you, it's not the team any longer…I'm learning to deal with that, but I can't deal with you hating me, I know I deserve it…you should have heard what Sarah called me when you were in the hospital…she was right too. I know I can never put it right, and things can never be the same between us, but maybe, one day we could talk…

Tony

To: .mil

From: .mil

Tony

Who says I hate you? Get that idea out of your head, I save my hatred for people like Ari, and Saleem...not for someone I've worked side by side with for years.

I had a lot of time to think after I left the hospital, since I came out here…and in a weird way you did me a big favour. I was stuck in a rut in DC, everyone there still saw me as that green kid who nearly hurled at his first big crime scene. That's not me any more Tony, and maybe I needed to move to make people see that, even make myself see it.

And the greatest thing happened today; Callen told me that as soon as an undercover assignment comes along where I fit the brief, I'm in! Can you believe it? Me going undercover…never would have happened in DC, see what I mean about things working out…and Tony, call me, anytime!

Tim

Tim shut down the computer and went to collect his jacket and back pack ready to head home. He knew he was grinning, but he couldn't help it, going undercover had been a dream for years, and it was closer to becoming a reality; now Tony had been in contact…

"Hey Tim, you up for a softball game Saturday?"

Tim had been lost in his own thoughts and hadn't even noticed that Callen and Sam were still around.

"Me? Softball…yeah, sure…"

"You okay Tim?"

"Better that okay Sam, much better!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Aiming Straight for the Heart**

**April 4****th**

Tim's pen was flying across the page; he had so much that he wanted to tell Ducky. He'd had such a good day with the team yesterday; they'd won their softball game, and had a celebration lunch that had gone on for hours. He'd gone back to his apartment and actually written some pages of the new book he was working on, and he hadn't written anything usable in months. Yes, it had been a good day. A day he wanted to write about. So he'd taken advantage of another blue-sky day and headed out to the park. By instinct he'd made for the dog-park. He had discovered this place within days of moving into his apartment, and it had been a haven for him amidst the pressures of moving to a new city and starting a new job with a new team. Sitting here, watching the people out exercising their dogs, the families playing together; it had helped him deal with the loss of Jethro, a loss he still felt keenly, even now.

For the moment he wasn't listening to the sounds of the park, he was lost in concentration, and was smiling as he gave Ducky a blow by blow account of yesterday's game.

"Caesar! Stop!"

The last word entered Tim's consciousness just as 85 pounds of German Shepherd crashed into him, sending his papers and pen spilling to the grass, and knocking over his coffee in the process. He started to pick himself up, and was reaching for his writing paper.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry…here, let me help you."

She bent down to pick up his pen just as Caesar arrived, complete with Frisbee.

"I try to throw away from people, but I sneezed at just the wrong moment, braking is not one of Caesar's strong suits; and…"

"It's not a problem, nothing broken, and believe me, I know how unreliable a big dog's brakes can be."

She handed him his pen with a smile, and Tim found himself looking into a pair of red-rimmed eyes, maybe she had a cold…she said she'd sneezed…but looking past the redness around those eyes, he found himself staring into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, dark blue, like sapphires.

"Erm…your pen."

"Oh! Sorry…thanks."

Really smooth there Tim, she probably thinks you're a total idiot. He'd completely forgotten the pen, had he been staring? Caesar decided he'd been neglected long enough, dropped the Frisbee at Tim's feet and gave a loud bark. Tim gathered up the disc, took a good long look around the field, and threw it as far as he could, Caesar raced after it, his tail wagging as he went.

"As you may have gathered, that hunk of canine is Caesar; I'm Verity."

She held out her hand, and Tim shook it.

"Tim; you have a great dog there."

"Oh, he's not mine, I couldn't cope with him full-time, I'm house-sitting for some friends, they're on vacation. Caesar comes with the house...oh no, here comes another one..."

She hurried to grab a tissue from her bag and had it to her nose just as another sneeze erupted.

"Bless you! That's quite a cold you have."

Verity wiped her nose, and smiled up at Tim.

"It's not a cold...wish it was, then it would be over in a few days. I have allergies, and all the pollen round here isn't exactly helping."

She looked so forlorn, but Tim couldn't help smiling.

"I hope your friends appreciate the way you're suffering to give their dog his exercise."

Verity giggled.

"If you saw their place, you would know there are compensations. I can put up with the sore eyes and the sneezing, and the raspy throat. Hey you know...Tim; maybe their place isn't all that good!"

She smiled up at him, and Tim was about to ask her to have coffee with him, but the words wouldn't come...after Amanda/Julia, he never knew what to call her, even in his own mind...after her, could he ever trust another woman again?

"Look Tim, Caesar spilled your coffee all over the grass, let me get you a fresh cup."

No one was more surprised than Tim when he heard himself say.

"Sounds great."

With Caesar now on his leash they walked over to one of the vendors on the edge of the park. Verity took out a bowl and bottle of water from her voluminous handbag, and poured it out for Caesar. Tim felt a slight pang as he thought back to the many times he'd done exactly the same thing with Jethro.

"Now, I'll get the coffee, how do you take yours?"

"You have your hands full with Caesar, why don't I get the coffee?"

"Wouldn't hear of it, we owe you a coffee at least, and Caesar's taken a real shine to you, just wait here, make sure he doesn't knock anyone else over...now, coffee?"

Tim could see that this was a debate he wasn't going to win, so he sat down beside Caesar.

"Black, no sugar please."

"Ha! That's how I take it too...that's what I like, an easy order."

In a blur of colour she was headed toward the vendors, and Tim had his first opportunity to get a really good look at Verity. She was about 5' 5", slim, dark brown curls cascading down her back. Her eyes had already left a lasting impression, framed as they were by long, long lashes; her skin was fair with a trail of freckles across her slightly red, but delightful button nose; and her mouth, what was that phrase his Grandma used? That was it, cupid's bow lips...Verity was dressed like something left over from the Flower Power days, cerise cheesecloth blouse, a long flowing skirt that looked like Joseph's coat of many colours, and 'gladiator' sandals. On many women it would have looked a mess, but on her...Tim tickled behind Caesar's ears and whispered.

"You're one lucky son of a gun being around her all day."

Caesar's only response was a wag of his tail as he saw Verity walking back to them.

"Here you go, as requested, black no sugar."

She flopped down on the grass beside him, and pointed to his writing pad.

"You know Tim, it's so refreshing to see someone sitting with pen and paper, actually writing, instead of tapping away on a keyboard; it's all laptops, PDAs, iphones. I get so sick of it, people seem to have forgotten how to talk to each other, how to connect on a personal level instead of through cyber-space."

Tim felt himself blush, and took a sudden interest in his shoes, and Verity realised she had made a terrible mistake.

"Oh no! You're into computers aren't you?"

He nodded, shamefaced.

"You have no idea…"

**Three Weeks Later**

"Hey Tim, you haven't been to see me in a while. I'm hoping that means things are going well."

"Going great thanks Nate...I'm...well, I'm seeing someone, and she's amazing; I didn't want to say anything before, I mean, my track record with women, you know..."

Nate did know, Tim had opened his heart to him in their sessions, quite honestly Nate was impressed that Tim had come far enough in his recovery from the 'Amanda' situation and its subsequent fallout, that he was even prepared to let another woman get close.

"So what's the name of this amazing woman, and when do we get to meet her?"

"Verity; and I thought, if the others don't mind, she could come to the next softball game."

"Who's coming to the next game?"

Sam had come into the room completely unnoticed, for a man of his size, he sure could move quietly when he wanted.

Nate gave Tim a hearty pat on the back.

"Seems our Tim is 'seeing someone'."

"Way to go Tim! And she's coming to the next game?"

"If it's okay with you guys."

Callen joined the group.

"'Course it's 'okay', family and friend always welcome, you know that."

"Gentlemen! I would have thought, knowing you all have reports outstanding, that you would have been better served working rather than standing around with all the appearance of gentlemen of leisure."

They all jumped like children caught with their fingers in the cookie jar. Hetty had that effect on them; even when they weren't doing anything wrong, she could make them feel guilty.

"Your colleagues are already at work…I trust you will be joining them immediately. Timothy, you may stay for another coffee if you wish, after all your report is done. Has Doctor Mallard arrived yet?"

"Yes, he called from his hotel; he's really looking forward to meeting you tomorrow."

"The feeling is entirely mutual; and Verity, she's coming?"

The others looked up in surprise; they'd only just heard about Verity, how did Hetty know? But she always knew, why should they be surprised?

"Oh yeah, she can't wait to meet you both."

Sam put his arm round Tim's shoulders.

"So why have you been holding out on us about...Verity? And how come you told Hetty first?"

"Timothy did not tell me Agent Hannah, I asked him why he had that extra twinkle in his eye, which my team of 'top-notch' investigators didn't appear to notice by the way; and he told me. Now, reports please!"

Tim was smiling broadly as the others grudgingly headed out to get their reports finished. He found it hard not to smile these days...The last few weeks, getting to know Verity, getting closer, had been the happiest he had known in...if he was honest, in years.

Verity was like no woman he had ever dated before. She had no idea what an eight level sorceress was, and absolutely no ambition to be one, she loathed computer games, thought they were a waste of time, that they stopped people living a real life…He barely played any longer, and he didn't miss it one bit. Instead they drove out into the hills and walked together for hours, Verity's allergies were much better out there, so they joined hands and walked, sometimes enjoying the silence, sometimes talking, but always happy to be together.

They went to the ocean and walked at the water's edge, ate ice-cream, watched the sun set and got to know each other. He told her about his job, not right away, he was still too cautious for that, but she was so candid, so open about herself, as she said herself.

"My parents gave me a name that means truth, and all my life I've tried to be honest...hasn't always made me popular, but that's the way I am, and I always appreciate it when people are honest with me."

So, for the first time in a long time, he found himself telling someone the truth about Timothy McGee, and even the truth about Thom E. Gemcity. And tomorrow night she was going to meet Ducky and Hetty; he couldn't wait.

**One day later**

Tim held open the door and ushered his guests into the restaurant. Callen had been right, the place didn't look much from outside, but the interior was very different. He hoped G was also right about the quality of the food, first class he had said.

The maitre d' showed them to their table. People were staring at them, or more likely at Hetty, Tim often forgot about her diminutive stature because her air of authority was such that she seemed much taller than she actually was.

They took their seats and within minutes it seemed as if they had all know each other for years, Ducky endeared himself to Hetty by complimenting her on her name, her full name.

"Henrietta, what a delightful name, there was a Henrietta who was married to that most tragic of monarchs; Henrietta Maria, princess of France, and wife of Charles I. I understand that she was small of stature too, but had a will of iron."

"Yep, that's Hetty alright, a will of iron!"

"That will do Timothy. Young people today Donald, no respect for history."

"How right you are dear lady, whenever I try to enlighten the youngsters in Washington about their heritage, and mine…well, let's say they always seem to have something better to do."

Tim's mouth was about to open in denial, but Verity beat him to it.

"I can't believe that Dr Mallard."

"Ducky, please my dear."

"Tim must have been listening because he's told me lots of your stories, Ducky, and yours too Hetty. I mean, the two of you, you've seen and done so much, met so many amazing people, who wouldn't want to listen, and learn from you?"

Ducky blushed a little.

"You flatter me Verity."

"Oh no Ducky, believe me, I don't flatter you, I'm telling you the truth."

Tim smiled broadly

"She is Ducky; it's the way she is."

The rest of the evening passed so quickly that it surprised them all when Tim reminded Verity.

"It's 10.30; you said you needed to be home by 11."

"I do, we're taking 12 youngsters to a wilderness camp, I'm going to need to be well rested for that!"

She stood to go and gave Hetty a big hug.

"I have had the best time, thank you so much for sharing some of your experiences; I'll never look at the Rat Pack in quite the same way again!"

Ducky was waiting to wish her good night.

"My dear, the children in your charge are lucky indeed to have you as their teacher."

"Could I get that in writing Ducky? I don't think they always feel lucky."

"They will, it may take them some time, but they will."

She held him tight and whispered.

"Thank you for everything you did for Tim, he cares for you a lot you know."

"As I do for him, and I think, as he does for you…"

"The cab's outside Verity, are you sure you don't want me to tale you home?"

"Tim, I'm a grown-up you know, quite capable of taking a cab home…"

"Then I'll walk you to the door, won't be long."

He gave a casual wave to Hetty and Ducky, and led Verity out of the restaurant.

Ducky leaned over and refilled Hetty's wine glass.

"While we have a few minutes alone Hetty, I wanted to thank you."

"Me? What for?"

"For looking after Timothy. Looking at him tonight…it's like a different person, when I saw him last, he was, well, you know

"I do indeed Donald; he's come a long way."

"He's a fine young man, I feared for a while that we would lose him forever, not physically, although that was touch and go for a while; but mentally…he had gone through so much. Much as it pains me to say this, I think Timothy was right, he needed to get away from all of us, start anew, you've been good for him."

"Not just us Donald, I think that young lady may have more than a little to do with his current contentment. I sense that there just might be a match there."

Ducky couldn't help but agree, there was something about Timothy this evening, almost intangible, but definitely there, he looked like a man in love.

"There is a forensic scientist of my acquaintance who may be a little saddened by this…"

"Ah yes, the very stylish Ms Sciuto…was she with Timothy in DC?"

"Some time ago now, but I always wondered…and I think perhaps she did too, whether they would get together again."

"I fear that ship has well and truly sailed Donald."

Tim was returning to the table, and pleased as he was that Tim was looking so healthy and happy Ducky couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness; we're losing him.

**Two Days Later**

Tim picked up his car keys and his back pack and was about to head out of the door when his phone rang. Ducky wasn't home already surely? They had been out for a farewell dinner last night, just the two of them, and Ducky had promised that he'd call Tim as soon as he got back to DC, but his flight had only left two hours ago. He checked caller ID, Callen, they must have a case, after all he'd be at the office in 30 minutes.

"Tim, could you meet me in Hetty's office as soon as you get in? It's urgent."

"Sure thing G, I'm on my way right now."

He gave a brief wave to Eric on his way through to Hetty's office, she was waiting with Callen. On the desk in front of her was a safe-deposit box.

"Good morning Timothy, no time to lose, we have a lot to do today, there is much to prepare."

Tim looked for a single uncomprehending moment at Callen, and then it dawned on him. It was happening at last, he was going undercover. Callen smiled, and handed Tim a dossier.

"Get reading Tim, time to soak up your new identity, this is who you are going to be for the foreseeable future, Travis McGann."


	5. Chapter 5

**In This Land of Make Believe**

Tim would have been happy to dive right into the operation the minute Callen mentioned Travis McGann, and dangled that dossier in front of him. But he knew there was more to going undercover than simply having a different name, he had to have a completely new identity.

As he carefully folded his clothes, Travis' clothes, and placed them neatly in his new suitcase he thought back to that day; was it really only three weeks ago?

"I think we have the perfect opening for a man of your unique talents."

Tim's heart sank, he knew what was coming, computers, he'd be stuck behind a computer somewhere. Just like Gibbs, Hetty and Callen had him pegged as the geek.

Callen clicked the remote and the monitor on Hetty's desk came to life with an image of a California driver's license; in the name of Neil Hallam.

"Hallam worked at Ferroman Enterprises; he contacted LAPD because he was convinced someone at the company was trying to sabotage their latest project. Because Ferroman is in the running for a huge grant from DARPA, the police contacted the DOD, and they were getting ready to start an investigation. Problem is, no one could get electronic surveillance set up; Ferroman's security systems look airtight. Then Hallam disappeared...Before we go any further Tim, I want you to know, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

Hetty gestured for Tim to sit beside her.

"We need to get someone inside, someone who understands the technology."

"Computers...I figured it would be computers."

"Not simply computers, as I said Timothy, this is tailor made for your talents. Were it simply computers I could just as easily ask Eric, though with his rather casual attitude to anything resembling a dress code, I am not sure he would fit in anywhere but here...No, this job requires someone who understands the workings of cyber technologies and how they are being applied to the creation of exoskeletons."

"Oh cool! We worked with DARPA when I was at..."

He saw the broad smiles on their faces, okay; maybe he was a geek after all. He laughed.

"You got me. What self-respecting comic book freak could pass up the chance to see real bionics in action?"

"I say again Tim, this is a voluntary operation, we have no idea what happened to Hallam; if they found out he suspected dirty dealing and took him out..."

"I understand G. But I want to do it, there are so many ways this technology could help our forces, and if this sabotage, or whatever it is that's happening could delay progress, then if I can help to put a stop to it, well, I'd like that chance. And maybe I can find out what happened to Hallam, he sounds like one of the good guys."

"He does indeed."

Hetty appeared her usual efficient self as she opened a new file on her computer, but inside she was glowing with pride. When Timothy had come to then that January day he had appeared so fragile, and not just because he was so thin. Her team had taken Timothy under its collective wing, and had worked wonders; but only because the object of their concern was made of stern stuff. His near death experience could have broken lesser men, yet here he was, full of excitement and anticipation ahead of the next phase of his OSP experience. She put her hand on Tim's arm.

"Now young man, we can't simply place you in Ferroman, we have no one to contact, no way of knowing who can be trusted, and therefore no way of getting you in by clandestine means. I am afraid you will have to do it the hard way."

She clicked again on the mouse and Ferroman's web page opened in her browser, she pointed to the screen.

"As you see, they have two vacancies at present; I think we can discount the janitorial position, but this one."

Tim leaned forward and read the details.

"Product Development Engineer...I'll need to do some serious reading to stand any chance of getting through an interview for a job like that."

Callen clapped him on the shoulder.

"Come on Tim! Time to put that mega brain to good use. I know you can do this, and don't forget we can give you a pretty good resume to back up your interview performance..."

"I'll give it my best shot."

"I know you will...I'll leave you with Hetty to put together a background dossier for Travis McGann, when you're done we'll have Eric work on embedding McGann's details in the relevant databases."

Tim and Hetty had worked together most of the morning discussing a background for Travis, fleshing out the details that were contained in Callen's flimsy dossier. She had guided him through a process that she had gone through many times, giving him the benefit of her hard won experience.

"It's best to keep the basic details as near as possible to the truth Timothy, that way if you ever have to take a polygraph your base line answers will be true, gives you time to get yourself together, get a steady rhythm to your heartbeat; ready for the trickier questions."

So Timothy McGee and Travis McGann shared the same date and place of birth, elementary and high school education, and a Navy officer for a dad. It was after high school graduation that their 'lives' started to take different courses...

"It might be worth our while giving you a reason to be disaffected with the Navy; should someone inside Ferroman be on the lookout for an ally, they may gravitate toward a person who feels they have a grudge to bear, How would it be if we had you falling out with your father because you didn't follow him into the service?"

"Great idea Hetty. And you know, there's a little bit of truth in that too; not the falling out part, but...well I think Dad...his dad was Navy too, so I guess we could have had a McGee family tradition going. But instead of Action Man Dad got the geek..."

"Who graduated high school at sixteen, has multiple degrees, finished top of his class at FLETC, and is a highly skilled Federal Agent. I think your father got a pretty good deal."

Tim couldn't help blushing, he still found it hard to accept praise; it wasn't something he had been accustomed to hearing in DC.

"Oh, don't get me wrong Hetty, Dad is really proud of what I've achieved, I know that, and I guess becoming a Navy cop didn't hurt."

"I'm certain that whatever you had chosen to do in life your parents would have supported you."

"They sure would...pity Travis wasn't so lucky. So, let's get that in. Estranged from his father...does he have contact with any of his family?"

"I think not.., let's make it easier, and reduce the risk of anyone digging too deeply for your 'family'. How would it be if they perished in a road accident?"

"Pretty brutal Hetty, but it would keep prying eyes away from that aspect of McGann's life."

He typed the amendments and saved them in the Travis McGann file.

Tim had emailed the file to Eric and had done some initial research on Ferroman Incorporated and their biomechanics programme. He was eager to see how his new identity was coming along so he grabbed a soda for Eric and headed to the control room.

Within minutes, he was regaling Eric with his new found knowledge.

"Ferroman seem to have a great operation, they've been working on soldier system technology with virtual prototyping. But they want to move away from virtual and get real; using sieve electrode technology, they're looking at the feasibility of melding exoskeletons with myolectric controls so that..."

"Told you he was the perfect man for the job."

The rest of the team had come to get a look at Travis McGann's profile and Callen was grinning as he witnessed Tim's puppy-like enthusiasm, Sam shook his head in bemusement.

"It sounds like English, I mean I get some of the words...but does anyone here, other than Eric, have any idea what he's talking about?"

Eric looked up from his keyboard.

"What do you mean other that Eric? I'm only getting about half of what Tim's telling me, he's way out of my league on this one!"

Kensi handed Tim a fresh cup of coffee.

"He's way out of most people's league where this stuff is concerned."

That may have been true, but Tim still had lots of homework to do before his interview, but the interview paid off and he was offered the job with a start date of May 24th. That had given him just ten days to get a new apartment, a new wardrobe, pack up his 'old' belongings, do yet more homework, and most important spend some time with Verity, try to explain to her why he couldn't see her...and he'd almost messed up that meeting, big-style.

He'd splashed out on a really classy restaurant for their final meal before he had to leave her.

After a wonderful meal, and a glass or two of wine, Tim had tried to explain to Verity, without actually telling her any details why he wouldn't be able to see her for a while. Verity could hardly believe it.

"No contact! You, who has every electronic gadget known to man; you're going to be unreachable…"

"It's true, where I'm going…well; let's just say I won't even be calling my parents."

She was suddenly all concern

"Tim, is this dangerous? Is that why you won't tell me where you're going?"

He took her hand in his, and gazed into those sapphire eyes.

"I can't tell you anything more Verity, but I do promise I'll be coming back, and we'll get together as soon as I do…that is, if you haven't met anyone else while I'm away."

She couldn't have looked more surprised if he'd slapped her across the face.

"Is that what this is all about? You want to end this? Is this your way of saying you don't want to see me anymore?"

"No! No, of course not. I…I love being with you…but Verity, I honestly don't know when I'll be back, it could be a while."

She smiled and gripped his hand tight.

"Then I'll wait awhile Tim."

Tim fastened the suitcase, and put it by the door. One more phone call to make and he was done here. He'd already called Abby, and she'd promised to let the others know what was happening, she had also warned him that she would be calling Eric on a daily basis to check on Tim's progress. Ducky's letter was already in the mail, and Tim felt better for having put down in writing some of his concerns about living a life divorced from everyone he cared for…but he knew what he had to do…and Hetty, Callen and Nate had prepared him well.

He packed the last of his own personal belongings in the carton that Nate would be collecting later, and glanced one last time at the brief profile that would form the basis of his life from here on in.

NAME: Travis McGann

BORN: 13 September 1979; Bethesda, Maryland

EDUCATION:

Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore MD. Master of Science in Engineering in Bioengineering, Innovation and Design

Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge MA. Master of Engineering in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science.

Broadneck High School Annapolis, MD

Punahou School Honolulu, HI

Ruby Bridges Elementary School, Anaheim, CA

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:

Biomedical Engineering Team Lead: Polysciences Inc. Warrington, PA

Research Associate: Center for Biomedical Engineering, University of Texas Medical Branch, Galveston TX

FAMILY BACKGROUND: Parents and sister deceased two years previous in a car accident. Father was a Naval Commander, Mother a part-time teacher. Commander McGann was very strict; he and Travis had been estranged for some years.

Tim folded up the sheet of paper, he didn't really need to read it, he knew the contents by heart. He slipped it inside Timothy McGee's NCIS ID, and picked up his cell. Time for one last phone call before his cab arrived.

"Hi Dad."

"Tim! How are things out there in the Golden State?"

"Everything's great Dad, in fact, you know that undercover op I told you about? It's happening, I've already called Sarah...I...well I won't be able to call for a while...I have to become this guy, so no contact with my own family..."

"Son...are you having second thoughts?"

"No...it's not that, I still want to do it, I've waited so long for this chance. It's...well, the closer I get to going undercover, the more real it is...it's going to be tough not being able to talk to my family, and..."

"And Verity."

Tim laughed briefly.

"You know me too well Dad...Verity and I...seems like we're only just getting to know each other; I couldn't even tell her what I'm doing, or where I'm going..."

"Tim, if she cares for you, the way I think you care for her, she'll understand."

"Hope you're right, I should go now; I have to pack the rest of my new stuff. Give Mom a kiss from me, I'll speak to you when I can...I love you Dad."

In that instant an image flashed into Andrew McGee's mind, his son lying in Intensive Care as the medical staff fought to keep him alive; and he was suddenly frightened, as he had been back then. He didn't want to lose his son, but he couldn't burden Tim with his fears.

"I love you son, and I'm proud of you, this is another big step, and I know you're up to the job. Be careful Tim, and we'll speak to you soon."

"Don't worry Dad, I promise no late-night walks in the rain...good night."

As Andrew replaced the receiver, he gave a rueful shake of his head; he should have known Tim would know exactly what he was thinking. He looked up at the photograph of Tim on his graduation day at MIT; he'd grown up so much, and come so far since that day.

"Stay safe son, please, come home safe."

Tim put his cell phone in the carton, and left it on the table for Nate. It would be kept safe for him at headquarters…ready for him when he resumed his life as Timothy McGee. He locked his apartment for the last time and dropped the keys in his post box, as he walked down to the waiting cab Tim shook off his old persona; time to start living another life.

DARPA: Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency


	6. Chapter 6

Days Go On Forever

Special Agent Simon Delaney took a moment to let his ears get accustomed to the wave of sound that still took him by surprise every time he went into Abby's lab.

He checked out the number on Abby's Post-It note, when it read 182 he would be heading back to San Diego. Director Vance had promised he could go back to his family when his six months was up, even if McGee wasn't coming back. But something was different today, posted below the number 155 was a new note bearing the number 3.

"Hey Abby, what's with the new number? Oh, wait, that's how many days Agent McGee has been undercover."

She glanced up from her work, she was never going to be close to Delaney, but she tried to be friendly, after all it wasn't his fault that Tim left…it was theirs, his so called friends, they drove him away. Now he was further away than ever, out of reach…

"Tim… I can't even email him…Eric says he's okay and I shouldn't worry, but I…"

"You do worry, of course you do, he's your friend…and you miss him…"

Abby's eyes misted over a little, and Simon moved a little closer.

"I don't want to step out of line here, but you look like you could use a hug."

Abby nodded slowly, help out her arms and enveloped Simon in a ferocious embrace, and all her fears escaped in a flood of tears.

"S...sorry about this, but Tim, he's never done anything like this before...I mean, I know he can do it; and he has a great team behind him, but he...he's all alone, and last time he was alone..."

"From what I've hear about Tim, he'll do a fine job; he's a tough cookie Abby, look how he came back after his accident, not everyone could have done that."

He gave her one last gentle squeeze and released his grip.

"You going to be okay? Should I get Gibbs or Ducky?"

"No! No, you're all busy, I'm fine now, thanks Simon; you're a good man."

Simon headed for the elevator, and with a watery smile at Tim's picture Abby got back to work.

Delaney sat down at Tim's desk, he still didn't think of it as his desk, and he was pretty sure the others felt the same way; they were still hoping that McGee would come back, and soon. He got down to checking phone records and started a search on Petty Officer Rayner's financials. As he waited for the programme to run Simon glanced at the two remaining members of Team Gibbs. They had welcomed him, and there was no doubt he was learning a lot just watching them work, but there was also no doubt that they were still missing McGee. They were also still coming to terms with the part they all played in his decision to go. Delaney was never going to get to know these people really well, and getting close to Gibbs would take much more time than he had. But he had noticed, when they were working on their reports they sometimes looked wistfully in his direction; and he knew they weren't looking at him. They were looking at the space where Tim McGee used to sit, and if he caught their eye, they were always quick to look away and look busy…

But they weren't fooling anyone, certainly not the man sitting at that desk, who had been called McGee or Tim on numerous occasions since he had joined them.

He'd been to dinner with Ziva and Tony a few times, and the talk always turned eventually to 'Probie'; Tony in particular seemed to need to talk about McGee. About the superglue, the stakeouts, Elf Lord, the other seemingly endless nicknames; but occasionally he would get serious, talk about Somalia…and Delaney would get a glimpse of Tony's real feelings.

"I never meant for him to go…if I could unsend that stupid email…I should have thought it through…tried to imagine what he felt like after that woman betrayed him…I should have been a friend…"

"As should I Tony, you told me what you were doing; I could have put a stop to it. It would have been the kind thing to do, but I did not…and here we are. Delaney, forgive me, I do not wish to make you feel…unwelcome, we were a team for some years, adjusting to new people…"

"It's hard I know; look people, I'm out of here as soon as my six months is up, so I'm not expecting us to become best buddies…and from what I've heard about him, McGee is a hard act to follow."

Tony took a sip of his beer.

"You got that right, but you're doing a great job, and so long as you haven't changed any of the settings on his computer, Tim will appreciate you keeping the geek end of things working smoothly."

Delaney gave a short laugh.

"Thanks for the glowing recommendation…Seriously though, do you think he will come back? I was talking with one of the guys in the San Diego office the other day…ex Navy Seal, served with Sam Hannah. He told me Sam says it was their lucky day when Tim agreed to join OSP, says he's fitted in like he's been with the team since day one…"

Delanley's voice tailed off as he realised that he might just have won the tactless remark of the month award.

"Oh, sorry guys…I didn't mean to…"

"Not a problem…"

But if course, it was a problem. Delaney had reminded them that Tim was making a success of his new life, and now he was under cover.

Tony and Ziva had been amazed to hear that their erstwhile team mate was working under cover, but Gibbs hadn't been surprised by the news. He of all of them knew how well Tim was doing with OSP, not only did he get regular calls from Callen, but he also knew from personal experience that whatever Tim set his mind to, he would work at it until he had it mastered.

Simon couldn't help smiling as he remembered the expression on Tony's face when Gibbs had told them all that Tim was on an undercover op. To say he had been surprised would have been the understatement of the year.

"It must be geek stuff; no way they're letting him loose on anything dangerous!"

The head slap echoed round the squad room, and Gibbs treated Tony to one of his most fierce stares.

"You still don't get it, do you Tony? McGee has changed, but you won't see it."

Gently rubbing the back of his head Tony looked directly at Gibbs.

"I get it Boss…I do…guess I don't want him to enjoy undercover too much, if he does we may never get him back..."

"Morning Travis!"

"Morning Emma, how did your date go last night?"

The receptionist mimed sticking her fingers down her throat and gagging, Tim chuckled.

"That good, huh?"

She handed him the signing-in log.

"If I tell you the highlight of my evening was straightening my hair, that should give you some idea."

"Ouch! That's a bad one...you calling time on the online dating now?"

Emma shrugged as she pressed the button to release the door into the lab area.

"Unless a certain Product Development Engineer would like to ask me out..."

He shook his head.

"Never say never Emma, but I'm taking a time-out from the dating scene..."

"Well, you know where I am if you have a change of mind."

As the door closed behind him Emma sighed to herself. Travis had caused quite a bit of interest among the women at Ferroman, some of the men too, but he pretty much kept to himself. She perked up a little when she remembered that he had agreed to join the team on their paint ball experience on Saturday. Perhaps she could get him to loosen up a little when he was away from work.

Tim stared into the lens of the retinal detector and waited for the doors to slide open. Even now, after two weeks of working here, he kept expecting the doors to remain closed, for the system to refuse him admittance to the inner sanctum of Ferroman Enterprises, the research lab. But, as they had done every morning, the doors opened and he stepped into one of the most amazing places he had ever seen. It was like something from the set of a science fiction movie…Tony would probably have been able to give him an example…more than one. Banks of computer screens surrounded on all sides by prototype bionic limbs, artificial muscles, lightweight, but incredibly strong body armour; it was like a high tech chop shop.

"Hey Travis, I sent the results of the overnight testing to your computer, it's looking good, but I still think we need to get a better balance on those force plates. The more accurate the readings we have from that data, the better our chances of getting the McKibben muscles working to optimum capability."

"Thanks Scott, I'll get to it right after I set up this morning's test programme."

He headed out of the lab toward the physical endurance testing room, this was where the volunteers, many of them veterans who had lost limbs in Iraq or Afghanistan. All willing to take part in a battery of physical tests to help Ferroman's scientists in their attempts to perfect a workable exoskeleton, to greatly improve the quality of prosthetic limbs, along with which would come a vast improvement on the day to day lives of these brave men and women.

The day passed quickly and Tim sometimes found himself forgetting that he was here for NCIS, that someone who worked alongside him could be attempting to sabotage any one of the incredibly important projects being undertaken here. Every person he had met so far seemed dedicated to the work, but that was the appearance he was giving to others…shows how easy it can be to live a lie.

No, it wasn't his working days that were the problem; it was the time when he was away from here, on his own in Travis' apartment, that was when time dragged. That was when he wanted to call Verity, tell her how much he missed her, to talk to Sarah, Mom and Dad; check on the state of his apartment...and his car. To join in the OSP team in another game of softball, or even share another evening of karaoke…no, maybe he didn't miss karaoke, but he did miss being with people who knew him as Tim.

But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, so he kept on working, kept on watching, and went home every evening to an empty apartment.

He had enjoyed the paintball, and for the first time since he'd become Travis he had felt comfortable inter-acting socially with his new colleagues. He started to accept their invitations for a pre-commute drink, and even dinner with two of the lab techs who were also keen gamers. So far, he'd still managed to avoid being asked out by Emma, but he had a feeling it was only a matter of time.

Tim strolled into the coffee shop and ordered a regular black coffee.

"Can I interest you in one of our breakfast scones? They're on special today."

"Sounds good, I'll take a reduced fat cranberry please."

The barista lowered her voice.

"You're looking chipper today, things getting better?"

Tim looked into Kensi's dark brown eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, much better, and tell Eric I may have something for him soon; nothing definite, but I think I've spotted something...hinky."

She nodded briefly and handed him his coffee and scone, he passed a bill over the counter.

"Keep the change, and thanks."

"You have a good day."

Tim gave her another smile and headed out to his car. He knew the coffee would be too hot to drink right away, so he opened the paper napkin around his scone and checked inside. Sure enough there was a mini thumb drive folded inside the napkin, Tim slipped it onto the case that held his sunglasses and put it on the passenger seat. He'd get to that at 'home' tonight, Eric had promised him more detail on Ferroman's financial records, and the data would be on the drive.

Tim pulled away from the parking lot, back into the rush-hour traffic; as he drove toward Ferroman he thought of Kensi, stuck with having to do a spell as barista at a busy coffee shop. His daily visits to the shop had been set up as a way of exchanging communications. Folded inside the $10 bill he'd given Kensi were the names of two employees who had been acting...off; nothing he could really pin down, but Callen had told him that the slightest thing could be important, so he'd left the names with Kensi.

As he carefully negotiated the traffic Tim smiled at the recollection of his own brief undercover experience as a waiter. He'd been dismissive of his own role, but now he was deeper undercover he could see the value of the 'bit part' players in any clandestine operation.

Without Kensi the OSP team would find it difficult to remain in contact with Tim, at least, without arousing suspicion. Ferroman had electro-magnetic shielding rendering any tracking or listening devices useless. They couldn't be sure that whoever was behind this wasn't capable of tracking his personal electronic communication, so Hetty had set up the 'old-fashioned' method of data exchange, and so far it was working perfectly.

Tim would have to remember, when this was all over, to ask Kensi how she felt about standing behind the counter of a coffee shop for two hour shifts every morning. But he was pretty sure he knew what her answer would be, the op required her to play barista, so that was what she would do, for as long as Tim needed her to be there.

He barely paused as the retinal detector scanned his eye…almost a month into his assignment he didn't doubt for a second that he would have access to any room in the facility; and tonight he was going to be working late…alone. Tim had already laid down the ground work. He'd buried a bug in one of the programs that would disrupt the data-stream at around 9pm, Abbott; the tech who was running today's overnight testing wouldn't be able to deal with the problem, so he'd contact the on-call duty manager, and tonight that just happened to be Travis McGann.

Tim knew he was getting close…he knew for certain that someone was skewing test results; it had to be someone with ninja programming skills, but that didn't exactly narrow the field here. It also had to be someone with top level clearance, and a knowledge of the biomedical side of the process that few people had. So few that Tim had been able to hand Kensi a list of three names this morning, there had to be something in their background…one of them was doing this; but Tim couldn't understand why…surely not just for money…

So, when he came to answer Abbott's call tonight Tim would send him home, get into the mainframe and work through the night until he had a name…

It was 03.30 when Tim cracked the last level of encryption, he watched, totally engrossed and immersed in the code as line after line scrolled up the screen…and then he saw it…he leaned closer, hardly believing what he was seeing; this can't be true…he was so taken aback by this staggering discovery that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him. He barely registered the pain that seemed to split his skull open…and didn't feel his head hit the desk as his body folded and the darkness closed in around him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Help Me Survive Here**

"Hey, Kellie, I asked for a decaf Angel City, not an espresso…"

Kensi hadn't been paying attention, she was too busy watching the door; it was 08.35, Tim was never this late. Traffic, that must be the problem, an accident somewhere, highway maintenance, that would be…

"I'm so sorry sir, my mistake…there you go, take a large one at no extra cost…"

She handed him his drink and turned to her next customer.

Thirty minutes later, her shift was over and she called Eric.

"Have there been any major traffic problems this morning?"

Eric shook his head before remembering that Kensi couldn't see him.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, is there a problem?"

"Tim hasn't been in for his coffee. He could be sick I guess. Can you call him on the secure line Eric?"

"No problem Kensi, you on your way back?"

"Yeah, let me know if you make contact."

"Will do."

Eric opened the secure line, an encrypted satellite phone that was hidden in Travis' apartment. It was the only line they had that wasn't traceable, and it was only to be used in emergencies...as he punched out the number Eric crossed his fingers...let him be home sick...

**Two hours later**

Consciousness returned slowly…and painfully…Tim opened his eyes and tried to sit up…bad idea, his headache and nausea intensified...he ached all over. To make matters worse, it was his own fault that he was in this situation. He'd always been able to lose himself in what he was doing, to zone out the rest of the world as he concentrated on the task in hand…An ability that stood him in good stead when he was trying to study in noisy dorms, but which had proved his downfall here.

Tentatively, he attempted to stand; a few minutes and several stumbles later he knew where he was…a rarely used sub-basement at Ferroman; no surprise, given what he had discovered. The saboteur was Duncan Leach, Tim simply couldn't believe it, Duncan owned Ferroman, every penny he had was tied up in this company, why on earth would he try to ruin everything? His own brother was a Vet. lost a leg in Afghanistan; Duncan had told Tim that Dan's injury had been the catalyst for specialising in the research that they were doing at Ferroman. So why do this, why betray his own brother?

Tim attempted to climb the steps, if he could get out of here, maybe he could get a message to Eric, but he couldn't make it…not yet. He fell to his knees and took a deep breath…tried to clear his head, but all he felt was pain, and nausea…judging by the way he felt right now, Leach hadn't been too gentle about getting Travis down the steps...He sat back down and leaned against the wall…come on Tim, get it together…time to look around. Tim checked the room, looking for something that he could use as a weapon...but unless he hit Duncan with a discarded prosthetic arm...the cupboard was pretty bare...

Maybe Duncan wouldn't come back, this place was only used to store obsolete equipment, it could be days before anyone had to come down here...it was up to him to get out. His head was feeling a little clearer so he tried once more to stand; he leaned against the wall for a moment, let the world get back into focus, then he started to look through the drawers, if he could find some thick wire, maybe he could pick the lock.

He was leaning over the last drawer when he heard the door click open; Duncan Leach locked the door behind him and headed down the stairs, his face a mask of suppressed anger. Before he was half way down he called out.

"I want you to tell me who you're working for. Someone's already been asking for you at reception, said he had a personal delivery for you…who are you working for? Are you with them? Is that why you were snooping, checking up on me? You should have left well alone!"

"How could I? You're wrecking the chance to make a real difference to people's lives..."

"What's it to you? It's my company, I do what I want."

Tim shook his head, and swayed a little, okay no more sudden movements.

"You can't mean that...we're doing good work here...your brother..."

"Leave him out of this!"

"How can I? You said yourself we could give him a better life..."

Tim was astonished to see Duncan's eyes fill with tears, his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"I can't do this...it's killing me...when I saw what you were doing, you could have ruined everything, got them killed…you don't know what I'm dealing with...if they found out...so I hit you and put you here...I couldn't let it happen again, not after Hallam..."

"What happened to him?"

"He opened his mouth too wide, and they killed him..."

"They? Who are they Duncan?"

"I don't know! All I know is they have my family...and if I don't do exactly what they say...my wife and son..."

There it was, the reason Duncan would betray his brother. Tim was beginning to understand some of the pressure that Duncan must have been under, but there were options…

"Why didn't you contact the police; they know how to deal with these situations."

Leach clenched his fists in frustration.

"It's not a 'situation'…they took my family Travis…Is that even your real name?"

"Tim…and I'm truly sorry about your family, but listen…I can help you with this; not just me…I work for NCIS, you know what that is?"

A brief nod from Duncan, he was barely keeping himself under control.

"There's a great team behind me. We can get your family back safe, you don't need to go through this alone."

A faint glimmer of hope crossed Duncan's face.

"B…but what can you do? I don't know where they are, how can we get to them?"

Tim looked deep into Duncan's eyes.

"We have surveillance and tracking systems you can't even imagine. We can find them Duncan, I promise."

Duncan's shoulders slumped and he started to shiver.

"I'm so scared…what if I do what they want and they still…Jill and Peter…they mean everything to me..."

Tim put his hands on Duncan's shoulders, and spoke slowly and quietly.

"Look Duncan, let me go home…make a phone call, put the team on standby. Then, once you show me how the kidnappers communicate with you Eric can trace them."

He saw the fresh panic in Duncan's eyes, and was quick to reassure him.

"Don't worry, he can do it without anyone knowing, you have my word; we'll get your family."

**Two days and ten hours later**

Callen did a final com check with his team. They were all in position and ready to go. There had been a number of occasions in the last few days when they were afraid Leach would lose it and give away their plan, but Tim had been able to persuade him that they knew what they were doing, and that his family's best chance of survival was to co-operate with OSP. Under cover of darkness, they had quietly evacuated the adjacent properties, and were currently surrounding a house in a quiet residential street, just off Coldwater Canyon Avenue.

At Callen's signal Eric cut the electricity supply, and the street was plunged into darkness. The team moved in…later, Tim would find it hard to remember the exact sequence of events. The night vision goggle gave everything an eerie, other-worldly appearance...there were shifting shapes silently moving through the house; then there was noise, shouting, crying...But in the end, the kidnappers never stood a chance, they had been totally disoriented in the darkness. Or so the team thought...Callen and Kensi were leading Jill and Peter Leach to the car and an eventual reunion with Duncan when Tim noticed a flash of light in the shrubbery.

"G! Down!"

Tim got off two shots, and was so intent on checking that Callen and the Leach's were unhurt that he was barely aware of the burning sensation in his arm. Sam ran toward him.

"Are you hurt?"

Tim looked down at his arm...there was blood, but it didn't hurt, not really...he had to be sure...

"Jill...Peter, are they...?"

"They're fine Tim, look Kensi's got them..."

"That...that's good...dizzy..."

He slumped forward and his fall was halted by Sam.

"We need a medic! I've got you Tim...help's coming..."

Callen knelt beside them, and gently touched Tim's forehead, he was burning up.

"This is my fault Tim, I shouldn't have let you come...I saw those bruises...should have got you to the hospital two days ago..."

Tim gave a painful cough.

"Not your fault...I wanted to do it...for...Duncan...and look...not raining... last time...raining...cold...""

**One week later**

Tim paid off the cab, and stood hesitantly at the door. He didn't need to be at OSP headquarters today, he was still on sick leave; the sling on his arm was more of a precautionary measure now, but also a reminder that he wasn't yet ready for duty. He didn't want to go back to his apartment right now...being alone seemed like a really bad idea.

He had been a little worried about facing everyone after what he was sure Tony would refer to as his 'Probie mistake' on the undercover op. Back at the hospital Callen had reassured him.

"Look Tim...you've admitted you made a mistake, but you put things right. You rescued what could have been a disastrous situation, got Duncan Leach to go along with us, and he only did it because of you...he told me that."

"I could have ruined everything..."

"You think I've never been there Tim, or Sam? We've all made mistakes, but we learn from them...it's what makes us better at what we do."

Tim hoped that G meant what he said, and it was true that they had arrested the men behind the kidnapping; co-owners of a rival biomechatronics company, prepared to be completely ruthless in their pursuit of a huge Government contract.

Tim was slowly coming to terms with the fallout from the Ferroman operation, and every member of the team had been busy regaling him with tales of operations they had been involved in that had gone awry…they would not allow him to think that he had failed…too much good had come out of Tim's sojourn as Travis, most important of all the Leach family was together again, and Duncan was more determined than ever to get his prototypes off the drawing board and into action.

No, the failure that was delaying his entry into headquarters was of a much more personal nature. He took a deep breath as he tried to compose himself, tried to erase from his mind the hurt in Verity's eyes, he had tried to wipe away her tears, but she sent him away…

"I couldn't tell you Verity…going undercover…it had to be…"

"A secret…"

"I guess you could call it that, I wish I could have told you more, but…"

"Did you tell your family?"

He couldn't look her in the eye, why hadn't he told her more?

"I did…Verity…I honestly don't know why I told them and not you…"

"Maybe you didn't trust me Tim."

"No! It was…everything seemed to move so fast…I didn't know what to tell you…whether you would understand…going undercover, living a lie…"

"So you told me nothing, just said you had to go away…look at you Tim, you could have been killed and I wouldn't have known anything…how do you think that makes me feel?"

He reached out his hand to take hers, but she pulled away.

"I thought we had something special…I…I loved you…"

Tim winced as he noticed the past tense.

"But love isn't just romance…it means trust, and truth…if you don't trust me…"

She wouldn't accept his words of comfort, his belated apology, and in all honesty he couldn't blame her, he'd made a terrible mistake, and as he closed the door of her apartment he had a feeling he was closing the door on what could have been the most important relationship of his life…

Tim squared his shoulders, opened the door and headed for the OSP office. He gave a weak smile.

"Hi guys…"

One look at his face told them that his visit with Verity had not gone well. They gathered round him, all ready to offer a shoulder to cry on, but Hetty was first to lay a hand on his arm.

"Timothy, the kettle is boiling; let's have a cup of tea, just you and I…"


	8. Chapter 8

**Pick the Pieces Up**

August 7th

The constant droning of the jet engines had lulled most of his fellow passengers to sleep, but Tim wasn't tired; he was heading back to LA well rested after a week at home with his parents. Hetty had insisted that he take another week off work, and when she was in one of her tough guardian angel moods it was best not to argue.

"I do not want to see you back here until next Monday; look at you, this is what happens when you insist on working a case when you are clearly too ill to do so."

"It wasn't so bad Hetty, and Duncan was really nervous…I was worried he wouldn't co-operate if I wasn't around."

She handed him his cup of tea.

"Not so bad…I think in future I will be the judge of that Timothy. Personally I would consider two cracked ribs and the after effects of a concussion to be ample reason to take time off. From now on when Callen recommends you be seen by a doctor, that is exactly what I expect to happen, do you understand?"

"Absolutely, won't happen again."

"I should very much hope there will be no necessity for further hospital visits…but enough of that. I gather from your demeanour that things did not go well with Verity."

Tim stared into his teacup, and tried to compose himself.

"Couldn't have gone any worse Hetty; I think we're done."

"Surely not! You explained the need for secrecy?"

"Yep…didn't help…I should have told her more; not about the actual operation, but the fact that I was going undercover. My own fault…she told me right off how important the truth was to her, and I wasn't honest…I told Mom and Dad…and Sarah, but Verity…I guess part of why I didn't tell her was not wanting her to worry…If she thought I was away on a training course, something like that, she wouldn't be thinking of…"

"Of you getting hurt…so when you turned up today looking like this…"

She touched the sling on his arm, took in the shadows under his eyes, the still dark bruise on his temple. Along with his injuries, he'd had a chest infection, and after his critical illness last December, the doctors had been worried for a while that it could have developed into pneumonia, thankfully that hadn't happened, but to Hetty's eyes he still looked ill and exhausted.

"Timothy; Verity was probably frightened out of her wits…you don't look well, and discovering that you had been shot…try to see it from her point of view; and give her time."

"Not sure she'll forgive me Hetty, not sure I forgive myself…you know, I've been knocked back so many times in relationships, always been the one on the receiving end of the heartache, kind of got used to it…but this...being the one causing the pain…I hate it…"

Hetty took his hand in hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You are too hard on yourself; you are a very fine man Timothy McGee, and any woman would be lucky to have you. However, you are also in need of some home comforts, so I would suggest spending some time with your family, then coming back to us when you are ready, how does that sound?"

It had sounded really good, so Tim had flown home; called Abby and Ducky, as promised and been lectured at length on looking after himself better. Then he'd settled into a week of being thoroughly cosseted by his Mom, and chauffeured around by his Dad, who had offered to let Tim drive the Porsche, but hoped Tim would turn him down.

"You drive Dad, I'm enjoying the life of leisure right now, don't even feel like driving."

"Are you really okay son? Your Mom was real worried when we heard you were in the hospital; she wanted to fly out right away."

"I know Dad, but it wasn't bad…not like before…"

They drove together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

"You handle the car like a natural Dad; maybe you should trade in your old car, and get one of these for yourself..."

Andrew couldn't help laughing.

"Oh yeah! I can just imagine driving your Mom out for her plants and compost in something like this. No, I'll stick with what I've got; but I can't deny, it's been a blast having the Porsche, it's quite the head turner…but you know that."

Tim shook his head.

"Never noticed, but it's a great car to drive."

"Tim, you didn't answer my question; are you okay?"

"I'm good Dad; really. And much more of Mom's home cooking, I'm going to need a new wardrobe!"

Andrew pulled onto the driveway and switched off the engine.

"If you need anything…to talk, stay longer...anything, you let me know, clear son?"

"Crystal!"

He had talked, but not about anything important. His parents had been through enough heartache when he was so ill; Tim didn't want to burden them with his worries about his ability to do his job, his unfailing knack of messing up what passed for his love life. So he'd sat in the garden, by the new white rose bush and told Jethro his problems…not out loud, he didn't need his Mom thinking he was losing his mind, but it had helped, just internally verbalising things helped him to clear his mind and be ready for his return to work.

"You should have seen the nurses when Eric came in to set up the web cam Jethro, I thought they'd put a stop to it, but Abby can be pretty persuasive when she wants something…well you know that…so there I was in my hospital bed talking Abby and Ducky out of flying to LA…I must have looked better than I felt because they seemed happy enough to stay where they were, so long as I promised to call them when I was home. It is good to be home…to be close; I miss you, corny I know, but I do…Verity and I, we take…took Caesar to the park sometimes and I wish it was you…no, I promised myself, no more looking back, time to go forward again. I'm back to LA tomorrow, work Monday; don't know when I'll be home again, but I think of you Jethro…a lot…rest easy buddy…'

He was startled back into the present by the announcement of their imminent arrival in LA. Recuperation was over; it was time to get back to work.

August 9th

The team had welcomed him back, and they were all happy to see him looking much better than the day he had left for home. Nate had taken him aside in the Boat House and asked if he was sure that he was ready for a return to full duties.

"More than ready Nate; I have to get back, the team has been so good to me, I owe it to you all, as well as to myself to do my job."

August 18th

That was exactly what he had been doing, and it had been so easy settling back into his pre-undercover routine. Working with Sam, Callen and Kensi in the field, it was as if he had never been away.

He'd called Verity as soon as he got back to his apartment but there had been no answer; her phone had gone directly to voice mail. Tim wasn't going to push things, so he left a message and waited for her to call back…he was still waiting.

Work had been his lifeline, filling his days, and lately his nights with constant activity.

"You have visual Tim?"

"Roger that. Kensi is with Rylance, looks as if they're getting ready to go into the back room. Jameson is in a booth, alone right now."

"We're in position; soon as the dealer arrives we make our move."

Tim sipped his Coke and scanned the club; they had to get it right, no room for mistakes. Tonight's op was the result of several months' investigation, and for the last two weeks Kensi had been Kiki, a hostess at the Constellation Club. She had successfully negotiated the path to become a VIP hostess, with access to the club's private rooms; the Orion Suite, and that was where the deal was to be done.

Cash for drugs, that's what they'd been told, lots of cash for lots of drugs, and it was all going down tonight. Rylance was the buyer; they knew that, they also knew that Jameson was the broker, the go-between, but the seller...that was the missing piece of their jigsaw.

"Tim."

Callen's voice sounded in Tim's earwig.

"A limo just pulled into the rear parking lot; this could be our guy, any movement in there?"

"Negative…no wait, one of Rylance's men is whispering to him, this is it, they're heading for the VIP rooms."

Rylance and three hostesses, including Kensi started to move toward the dark blue door labelled 'Orion Suite: Invited Guests Only'. Before they got there two club patrons grabbed Kensi's hands.

"Hey, pretty lady; you don't want to go with them, stick with us, we'll show you how to party!"

"Get off me!"

Tim could see that Kensi needed help. If she couldn't get away from these goons she would miss the only chance the team had to get a witness on the inside. But Jameson was moving too, if he got to the Orion Suite before Kensi the operation could be ruined. Tim grabbed his glass and quickly made his way to Jameson's booth; he lurched the last few steps and stumbled into Jameson spilling the contents of his glass down Jameson's shirt and pants.

"Sorry man…too much to drink I guess…let me get you…oh, oh boy…I think I'm going to thr…"

Jameson pushed him aside.

"Don't you dare throw up on my shoes!"

Tim didn't stop to watch Jameson trying to mop up the Coke staining his white shirt, he had another job to do. He lurched toward Kensi and called out.

"Kiki! Kiki...you promised me a dance; hey guys, butt out, she's mine."

As the two men turned their attention to Tim, Kensi pulled away and raced after Rylance, she made it to the inner sanctum at the same time as Jameson, and they were both allowed in. Tim heaved a sigh of relief and turned to face the two angry men who had lost their 'companion'.

"Hey man; what do you mean, she promised you a dance? She was with us!"

"Looks like she stood us all up guys…still, look around, plenty more where she came from."

Tim made his way back to the bar.

"G, she's in…is her mic working?"

"Loud and clear Tim. Wait for my mark, then we move."

August 19th

Hetty walked down the stairs, she smiled as she saw the hive of activity below. Callen's team was hard at work typing up their reports on last night's operation. It had been an outstanding success, nine arrests including one of LA's most notorious drug lords; $2.5 million in cash, and 40 kilos of pure cocaine, its street value much higher once it had been cut with various other noxious substances. LAPD officers were making more arrests this morning based on information received from NCIS.

Sam leaned back in his chair.

"I'm done, anyone need coffee? How about you Tim; something for your hangover?"

"He wasn't drunk Sam, he saved the day...the night...those idiots could have ruined the whole thing, but Tim..."

"I know Kensi, but we were listening in; he sounded pretty drunk to me."

Tim was trying his best to remain serious, but he couldn't help laughing.

"Then Hetty's acting lessons must be working, because I've never been drunk in my life."

"You are a quick study Timothy, and if I may say so I was extremely impressed by your quick thinking last night, as was Director Vance; I have spoken to him this morning and he asked me to pass on his appreciation for a job well done. So congratulations gentlemen, and lady; when you have filed your reports, go home, take the rest of the day off."

Callen was as astounded as the rest of the team.

"Hetty, are you getting soft on us?"

"What do you think Mister Callen? I want you all here at 07.30 tomorrow; tardiness will not be tolerated!"

"Yes Ma'am!"

The four of them got to their feet and saluted; Hetty gave them her sternest glare, and wagged her finger at Tim.

"I blame you for this behaviour young man; things have become altogether too frivolous since your arrival. Now, home people; but remember 07.30!"

August 31st

Things had been anything but frivolous in the days since the raid on the Constellation Club. Case after case seemed to come their way, and the pressure to perform had been intense; but through it all the team had worked together, and supported each other when things got tough.

This Tuesday morning was following the pattern of the last few weeks; the team had been roused early and briefed to assist NCIS Agent Kinsella and her team who had been staking out a dockside warehouse, on the trail of an illegal arms cache,

They were in position, and on Kinsella's signal they fanned out and covered every corner of the warehouse. Tim edged his way cautiously round the stacks of packing cases, everything seemed quiet, but they knew the men were in here somewhere. He saw Tim break cover for a moment as he moved forward. There was a flash of light on metal and Tim called out.

"Gun! Sam, get down!"

A shot rang out, Tim returned fire and threw himself to the floor, crashing into several cartons as he fell. There was more rapid gunfire, then all was quiet. Sam ran toward Tim, who was lying on the ground, unmoving, a dark red stain spreading on the floor beside him.

"Tim! Are you hurt? Tim!"

Sam knelt beside his friend.

"Oh man...Tim..."

"I…I'm okay...winded..."

Sam helped him to his feet and broke into a huge grin.

"When I saw that...I thought you'd been hit"

"No...it's paint...I must have tipped over some cans...on the bright side, at least this jacket is NCIS issue."

Callen and Kensi joined them.

"You two okay?"

"We're fine G, but I think Tim's going to need a new jacket."

Kensi took another step toward Tim to assess the damage.

"Oh yes...I think even Hetty will have to agree that this has seen its last shoot-out...I'm so happy you're both okay...we didn't see the shooter until it was too late."

Sam clapped Tim on the shoulder.

"Lucky for me Tim had my back...thanks man, I owe you."

Tim shook his head.

"You don't owe me anything, we're a team, we look out for each other."

Back at HQ the mood was one of relief mixed with pride in another job well done. Sam had been regaling Eric and Nate with the story until Tim called a halt.

"Next time you tell it, you'll have me leaping the packing cases in a single bound...I told you Sam, it was no big deal."

"Sure it was...and to prove it, dinner is on me tonight; for all of us. Hi Hetty, are you coming tonight?"

Hetty gave a quick smile.

"I wouldn't wish to miss the opportunity of witnessing such generosity; however, I think one of us is likely to need an early night. I just got off the phone with Director Vance, Timothy, do you remember Vince Horton?"

Tim nodded slowly...that was a name he hadn't expected to hear again.

"Apparently, he is filing an appeal; there is a seat reserved for you on United Airlines tomorrow at 07.05. It would appear, Special Agent McGee, that your presence is required back in DC."


	9. Chapter 9

**Back Again to a Different Land**

Saturday September 4th

Tony watched Tim walk through the squad room, he'd been in DC for three days, and Tony had already become accustomed to having him back, just like old times he told himself; but it wasn't…The California sunshine had darkened Tim's skin slightly, and lightened his hair, he stood straight and tall, and walked with a new air of self-confidence. The overall effect was enough to cause several female heads to turn for a second look. Tim didn't even notice, but Tony did.

"Hey kiddo; Melissa Gorman can't take her eyes off you…how about I fix the two of up on a date?"

Tim's eyebrows went up, and for a second Tony got a glimpse of the 'old Tim'.

"No thanks Tony, she already asked me out, but I'm not interested right now…"

"Ah ha, do tell Pr…McGee; is there a little lady pining for you in the City of Angels?"

Tim lowered his head and got back to checking the paperwork on Horton's case.

"No…no one pining for me…how about you Tony, anyone special in your life?"

"Oh, you know me…"

And he was away; Tim let the words wash over him as Tony listed the numerous women who had been honoured with his companionship this year. Tim didn't mind, he'd succeeded again in deflecting Tony's interest away from his own romantic involvement, and that suited him just fine.

It had been strange being back; Tim had been expecting the WELCOME HOME banner from Abby, accompanied by a bone crushing hug, and that had been good. He'd expected Tony to act as if nothing much had happened, as if Tim had been on a long vacation; and that's how it had been. Tony had even called him Probie as he shook his hand that first morning, Tim hadn't said anything, but Tony must have improved his people reading skills because after that he tried to stop himself using that term…didn't always succeed, but he did try.

Ziva and Gibbs had welcomed him, but it had been a cursory greeting; they were focussed on Horton's appeal. They had been first on the scene that day at Horton's home, and Gibbs had held Jemma Horton as she died from the injuries inflicted by her husband…Ziva had found the child; bludgeoned to death by his own father. Tim knew that neither of them would rest until they were certain Vince Horton would never walk free again. They were genuinely worried that this appeal could succeed, that Horton could be released on a technicality; and the main reason they were pleased to see Tim was because they knew he could help prove that every warrant, every search, every interview had been done to the letter of the law, no mistakes, no loopholes.

So he'd got down to work right away, and although in many ways it was like old times; even down to sitting at his old desk, there was something…off.

"So, as you can see Tim, no problems for Anthony DiNozzo in attracting the ladies…"

Tim smiled, and leaned back in his chair to stretch out tired muscles.

"You ever think about settling for one special woman Tony?"

"Haven't met her yet…"

Two days later Tim was sitting at his desk when the phone rang.

"McGee…"

"Timothy, if you have a moment…"

"Ducky, you're back! I'm on my way…"

Tim headed down to Autopsy; he'd been disappointed to learn that Ducky was away on vacation when he got back to DC; he had been looking forward to catching up with his friend, but the moment had been postponed until now.

Tim ran into Autopsy, almost flooring Jimmy, who was making a diplomatic exit.

"Oh, sorry Jimmy."

"No problem Tim, I have samples for Abby to check…again, I'll see you later."

Tim put his arm round Ducky's shoulders and held him close for a moment.

"I missed you Ducky."

"I was sorry to be away when you returned Timothy."

"I don't mean that, and you know it! I missed talking with you, but you were right about letter writing, I enjoyed writing to you, and getting your letters."

"As did I. Let's look at you…good grief, have you grown even taller?"

Tim couldn't help laughing; Abby had asked him more or less the same thing.

"No, but Hetty's a great one for correct posture, I guess I just stand up straighter now."

"Well, it suits you. Now; do you have time for a cup of tea?"

"Sure do, but let me get it, you sit down and relax."

Ducky watched as Tim set about making a pot of tea. Oh yes, Hetty had taught him well, and from the looks of him, he'd learned a lot more during his Californian sojourn.

"So, young man, how is it going, any…difficulties?"

"No, it's been fine, but…it's a bit like...you know, when you buy a new pair of shoes, and they feel okay at first, but then they start to pinch, like maybe they don't fit so well after all."

"Is that how you feel? That you don't fit…so you're not going to stay?"

"Not for me to say Ducky, my six months is well and truly up; what happens next is up to Director Vance."

Friday September 10th

Gibbs gave one of his rare smiles, and handed out fresh cups of coffee.

"Good work people, that scum bag is back where he belongs...I'm going to tell Ducky the good news."

Ducky was waiting for him when he got down to Autopsy.

"Congratulations on a successful conclusion to the Horton case, I believe the judge dismissed the appeal?"

"News sure travels fast round here...Tony?

"Who else? But I am pleased to hear about the appeal."

"Yeah, thanks Duck. I knew we had a watertight case, but these things can surprise you sometimes."

He sat down at Ducky's desk.

"You seen McGee since you got back?"

"Yes indeed, several times, Jordan and I took him out to dinner last night. He's looking very well…is there a problem Jethro?"

"No…not a problem…he…I thought when he came back, saw Abby, the team…"

"You want him to stay?"

"Never wanted him to go in the first place…but that was my fault."

"Not entirely Jethro…"

But Gibbs wasn't listening.

"He hasn't called me Boss once since he got back, did you know that? Not once…Gibbs every time…I knew things would be different, but he…he's…Callen told me how well he was doing out there, going undercover…you know he saved a family, and prevented catastrophic sabotage on vital technology?"

"Abby told me…Timothy doesn't seem to think he did all that well during that operation…"

Gibbs shook his head.

"Maybe he hasn't changed all that much, always second guessing himself. Callen said Tim was sick, but kept pushing himself to get the job done."

"Now that sounds familiar, I think Timothy may have picked up a little of your stubborn nature. He admires you greatly you know Jethro, but what happened last year…I think the foundations of his world crumbled, and he was at a total loss…"

"I thought it was horseplay Duck, I never imagined how bad he was feeling…that he'd feel like we let him down. I figure I'm so good at reading people, but I couldn't read Tim...if he was hurting, he didn't show it...not until that last stupid prank, no not stupid, cruel. Tony thought he was being funny, he had no idea…none of us did, how bad Tim was feeling over that woman."

"I was equally blind Jethro; we talked often Timothy and I, but perhaps never about what was really important to him."

"That's part of the problem, every time he tried to talk about his family, his interests, whatever mattered to him; I cut him off...always had to be about the job. You know, Callen found out more about Tim's personal life in eight months than I did in seven years. He said they met his girlfriend...I never knew when he had a girlfriend, let alone met one. I don't think he really opened up to any of us, not even Abby, not after they stopped going out together; he keeps his personal feelings pretty close to his chest."

Ducky watched his friend's face; he had rarely heard Jethro examine his relationships with his team so closely. As a general rule he tried to keep his work and personal lives totally separate, but he seemed to feel a need to understand why he had misread the situation between Tony and Tim so badly.

"Jethro…Timothy is not gregarious in the way Tony is, flitting from one person to the next; he is a social animal of a very different kind. A man who makes friends slowly, but once a friendship is forged, it is made of strong stuff, and that was one of the many reasons we lost him. He cared deeply for every one of us, and at the end of his time here, he felt his friendship had been betrayed, for a man like him that would be a bitter pill indeed."

Gibbs stared at his empty coffee cup, and nodded slowly.

"And I never saw it…now we may not get him back; Callen wants him in LA, if Vance agrees…Did we hold him back Duck, did I?"

"You taught him well Jethro, and perhaps…if you will excuse the analogy; perhaps he had to leave the nest to learn how to fly."

Vance arranged for Tim to stay with the team until the end of the month.

"I had a new TAD lined up, but he has to testify out in Honolulu, the case should be over in two weeks."

Tim didn't mind too much; his working relationship with the team was going along pretty smoothly, and it was good to spend time with Abby and Ducky, he'd had dinner with Jimmy and his girlfriend Brie, and she was a stunner. Best of all he'd been able to reconnect with Sarah, no life back in DC wasn't so bad.

Friday September 24th

It was the third week of his return, and he was walking round the Montgomery Mall in Bethesda with Ziva. Tony and Gibbs were in the security control centre, watching the monitors. They'd been tracking the movements of two naval intelligence officers suspected of passing on classified information; intel suggested that they would be meeting potential buyers here today.

Tim leaned close to Ziva and whispered.

"Someone's watching us...your 10 o clock...I think he's a look out for Morgan and Hussain."

Ziva flicked a quick glance in that direction; Tim was right, and she hadn't even noticed.

"If he sees Balboa's team move in, the operation could be ruined."

Tim hesitated for a moment, and noticed that they were outside a jewellery store.

"You're right Ziva, we could use a diversion."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Tim took Ziva in his arms and gave her a lingering kiss full on the lips. He then dropped to his knees and took her hand in his.

"Ziva, my dearest, would you make me the happiest man in the world...please would you marry me?"

A small crowd gathered around the 'couple', some of them recording the impromptu proposal on their cell phones. Now that she had caught her breath after the kiss Ziva saw exactly what Tim was doing. Balboa's team was moving in and the lookout now had no chance of maintaining contact with his comrades. It was a matter of minutes before the arrests were made; Tony having the pleasure of arresting and cuffing the lookout.

Gibbs joined them in the Mall as the men were being led away; he couldn't help grinning at McGee.

"That was quite a risk you took there; it was lucky for you Ziva didn't have a paperclip in her pocket...that was really good work Tim."

"And she let him?"

Abby couldn't keep the tone of astonishment out of her voice. Tony grinned.

"Oh yeah! You know, I think our Ninja liked it a little...come on Ziva, admit it."

Ziva was sitting next to Tim at the team's favourite table; they were enjoying an end of day drink to celebrate the successful operation. She took Tim's hand in hers, and with a playful smile she answered.

"I will admit that it was a very fine diversionary tactic, and I liked it more than a little Tony...McGee is an excellent kisser."

Tim laughed.

"Knock it off guys, come on Tony; it's your turn to get a drink."

The story of Tim's 'proposal' had spread like wildfire around headquarters, the passion and romance had increased in the telling, and they got used to endless requests for a repeat performance. But after a few days things quietened down and got back into a routine.

Thursday September 30th

They were finishing their first coffee of the morning, and preparing for another new day when Andy Fox wheeled the post cart into the squad room.

"Hi people...Agent McGee; Frank said I was to tell you there's a woman asking for you at the security desk."

Tony was all ears.

"So McSecret, thought you never told any of your dates where you work?"

Tim was about to give his customary reply, when he remembered.

"Only ever told one…"

Could it be, here in DC? He tried to still the hope that had already flickered into existence; he raced down the stairs two at a time, pushed open the door into the security area, and there she was...

"Tim...I'm so sorry..."

Her next words were silenced by Tim's kiss. She threw her arms around him tight as she returned his kiss with a passion that matched his own. When they finally separated, he looked down into those amazing, beautiful, wonderful eyes.

"Verity, I'm the one who should be sorry...I shouldn't have kept you in the dark."

She leaned against his chest and shook her head.

"You were right not to tell me, I see that now...I was hurt, and I do stupid things when I'm hurt."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I called Nate; he said you'd been called back to headquarters."

"What brings you to DC Verity? You're a long way from home."

"Teacher's conference, we don't have to register until 11 this morning, so I took a chance...came to see if you were here...Tim, is...could we meet for dinner, or drinks, coffee?"

Tim leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Dinner sounds perfect, are you free tonight?"

"There's a welcome reception, but I'm more than happy to miss that."

"Great, where are you staying?"

"The Embassy Suites."

"Then I'll pick you up at 7.30, is that okay?"

"Totally!"

Dinner was better than Tim could have hoped; it was as if they had never been apart. But there was an unspoken question hanging over them throughout the evening, and as they were finishing the last of the wine Verity was the one who asked.

"Are you staying here Tim, or are you coming back to LA?"

"Honest answer?"

He gave a wry smile.

"Of course you want the honest answer...I don't know Verity...wish I did. I have an appointment with the Director on Monday; maybe then I'll find out what he has planned for me."


	10. Chapter 10

**Find A Better Way**

October 4th

It was 09:57 when Tim walked in to the Director's outer office, his assistant Pamela glanced up from her keyboard and gave him a warm smile.

"Good morning Agent McGee, go right in, the Director is waiting for you."

"Hi Pamela, thanks."

This was it...Tim knew he was going to find out where Vance wanted him. Suddenly nervous, he took a deep breath as he opened the door.

"Come in McGee, I'd like to introduce you to Special Agent Benjamin Quinlan, formerly of our San Diego office."

The tall man who had been looking out of the window turned and smiled at the newcomer, he was well built, with skin a shade or two darker than Director Vance, and he stood ramrod straight. Tim knew enough about that stance to know that this was an ex military man. Quinlan took the few steps that brought him within arms reach of Tim and held out his hand.

"I've heard good things about you Agent McGee; good to meet you at last, I'm Ben, or Quin, I answer to both.

"Tim."

They shook hands and Vance gestured for them to sit down.

"I'm not going to leave you hanging McGee; I know you're waiting to hear about your next assignment. How do you feel about staying here in DC?"

Tim tried to mask his disappointment, until this exact moment he hadn't realised that he truly didn't want a permanent return to Gibbs' team.

"I…if that's where you want me Director."

"It is, but I don't want you going back to the MCRT, I have another project in mind. I've been working on this for months, but I didn't want to say too much until the budget had been approved. I'm opening up an Office of Special Operations here in DC, I've asked Agent Quinlan to head up the team, and I'd like to have you on board."

Tim was about to answer a hearty yes, when the dreaded thought hit him…computers, this had to be about computers.

Quinlan gave a low chuckle.

"Put him out of his misery Director; he thinks you're looking for a computer guy…I read your file Tim, I know how good you are with computers. But the Director and I think your field and undercover skills would be much more useful for my Senior Field Agent. What do you say Tim?"

"Yes! I say yes…when do we start?"

Tim was ready to hit the ground running, all his reports were filed, and the MCRT didn't have a case right now; but he knew that there was something important he had to do.

"Director, does Gibbs know?"

"He knows I was offering you the post; do you want to tell him your decision?"

"If that's okay?"

"I have no problem with it, but if you want some privacy, for Pete's sake use one of the conference rooms and not the elevator."

Tim was smiling broadly as he left the Director's office; this posting was more than he could ever have hoped for; then a shadow crossed his face. He knew Verity had been hoping he'd be posted back to LA so that they could have more time together. They had talked briefly about what would happen if he stayed in DC, and they were convinced they could make their relationship work even at long distance. Tim hoped so, those weeks without Verity, thinking he had lost her, he didn't want to go through that again any time soon.

Gibbs made his way to the conference room, they needed to talk Tim had said. Even before he opened the door Gibbs knew that he had lost Tim for good this time. An offer like that, heck if he was twenty years younger Gibbs would grab it with both hands himself.

"Hey Gibbs...Director Vance said it was okay to tell you; I'm taking the OSP job."

Gibbs held out his hand.

"Never doubted it Tim, congratulations."

Tim smiled warmly and shook Gibbs' hand.

"Thanks."

"You deserve this promotion Tim, you've worked hard, learned well; you're a damned fine agent and I know you'll do a good job."

"I think I can, I'm ready for a new challenge...oh, not that the job hasn't always been challenging."

Gibbs couldn't help smiling; sometimes Tim was just the way he had been all those years ago...sometimes...

"You know why I recruited you?"

"I always figured you were short a computer geek."

"Nope...until you joined Abby did whatever we needed...you remember when we first met, down in Norfolk?"

Tim smiled ruefully.

"That's something I'm never likely to forget, I think I can still smell that acid..."

Gibbs nodded in agreement.

"It was a bad one...but even then, green as you were; on the quayside when I tried to stare you out, you didn't back down...made an impression. So I looked at your file, and that was pretty impressive too...I got you TAD'd to the team a few times...I liked what I saw; managed to convince Director Morrow the MCRT needed a computer expert, and it was done."

Tim was shocked; he had never thought it was anything other than his computer acumen that had caught Gibbs' attention back then.

"You taught me so much Gibbs; I wouldn't have come this far without you...and the others too...watching you all, learning from you, I couldn't have got here without you."

"Don't sell yourself short Tim, it was all there inside you, just waiting to be released...and we almost crushed it."

"Please, let's not go over that again, I want to move on, put all that behind me, behind us."

Gibbs gave a tiny shake of his head.

"Can't do that Tim, I screwed up big time. I watched what was going on, but I didn't _see, _I thought it was just another of Tony's stupid frat pranks, and because you'd always shrugged them off before..."

"I should have called him on it years ago, but over time it just got easier to let it go."

"You'd tell him now."

Tim gave a quiet chuckle.

"Oh yeah, but he hasn't said a thing since I got back."

"You know why…because he can see you wouldn't take it from him now."

Tim couldn't hold back his grin.

"So maybe Tony's changed too..."

"Maybe...I'm not about to hold my breath waiting for proof. Tim, seriously, you know better than most how I feel about apologies…"

"Then we'll take it as read and move on. All the sorry's in the world can't change what happened…all I ask is that if you get another newbie on the team, well…just remember everyone is different, try to get to know them a little, break the habit of a lifetime and talk to them."

Tim was smiling as he said it, but Gibbs knew there were years of sadness behind that simple request, when had he ever taken the time to get to know Tim, to find out what made him tick? Answer was he hadn't, not until it was too late. They both stood, ready to go their separate ways, and Gibbs put his arm around Tim's shoulders.

"We're going to miss you, Tony most of all…I know he may not say it, but he still feels bad about what he did. You're ready for this, I know it, Leon knows it...that's why he's given you this chance, I'm glad you took it...Just one last thing Tim, good luck telling Abby!"

As it turned out Abby took the news better than Tim had expected, her worst fear had been that he would be returning to LA, the fact that he was to be based on the Navy Yard helped her accept the idea that he was leaving Gibbs' team.

The next two weeks disappeared in a blur of requisition forms, meetings with contractors and IT hardware specialists; getting to know Ben Quinlan, checking personnel files for potential recruits. There was money in the budget for two more agents, and when they got back from their trip to LA, Ben and Tim would be interviewing the most promising candidates. Tim was also reacquainting himself with Jemma Maulin, their tech operator. He had been impressed with Jemma when he worked with her in Cyber Crimes, and was looking forward to working with her in this new environment.

On the18th of the month the three of them flew out to LA to spend ten days working with the team out there. Quin had already been out to meet with Callen and the others when Tim was back in DC, but Jemma was making her first visit to the OSP operations hub. Tim had watched her as she walked into the op centre, her eyes as big as saucers as she went from screen to screen.

"You were right Tim, this is way cool!"

After that their time in LA had been all about work, with precious little off-duty time, Tim did manage to spend a couple of evenings with Verity, and he also got to meet Quin's wife and young son who were moving out to DC early November. Ben and Tim had detailed briefings with Hetty on the day to day running of the OSP; as the budget for the DC office would not run to a dedicated operations manager, she was going to spend some of her time out in DC offering her advice and support.

Jemma spent her days with Eric, learning how to deal with all the varied data that was necessary for a successful OSP operation, she learned how to handle the security camera input, to run concurrent searches, deal with team communications, by the end of her training she was every bit as proficient as Tim had expected.

On their last morning in LA they gathered at headquarters to say their farewells. Ben ushered Jemma toward the door.

"We'll wait for you in the car Tim."

Tim was grateful that Ben had given him the chance to say his farewells, but now that it was time to go he was suddenly lost for words.

"Guys...I...what do I say? Thank you isn't enough; when I got here...don't know what you thought you were getting, some washed-up geek from DC whose own stupidity almost..."

"Hey Tim, that's enough!"

Sam wasn't going to let his friend continue in that vein.

"What we got was a first-rate agent who soaked up everything we taught him, who got better at his job every day. We got a new friend Tim, and in our line of business that's a rare thing."

Each of them took turns at shaking Tim's hand, or giving him a hug; Kensi reached under the desk and handed Tim a package.

"We got you a farewell gift Tim, something to remember us by."

The others gathered round as Tim opened the box, he laughed aloud as he pulled out a selection of false beards, hair pieces and a bizarre pair of sunglasses with built-in flashing lights.

"Thanks guys, everything I need to blend into the background on an undercover op."

Eric handed Tim another, smaller package.

"You can keep them Tim, but here's your real gift."

Tim tore open the paper.

"This is...this will have pride of place on my desk...when I get one!"

He knew that if he stayed much longer the tears would start to flow. He looked at each of them, and then at the framed photograph in his hand. It was a picture of all of them; Hetty, Callen, Sam, Kensi, Eric, Tim and Verity taken at one of their softball games...he was going to miss them, more than he would have thought possible.

Tim gave Hetty one last hug.

"I'll see you on the fifteenth, and don't forget I'm taking you out to dinner."

"I shall look forward to that Timothy, now try and stay out of trouble for two weeks; do you think you can manage that?"

"I'll give it a try Hetty."

He kissed the top of her head.

"You're a life-saver Henrietta Lange."

"Stuff and nonsense...now hurry along or Mister Quinlan will be thinking you have changed your mind."

Tim held up his picture.

"I really will treasure this... you all helped me put my life back together, you and Verity...this new job, it's all because of you."

Callen slapped Tim on the shoulder.

"Maybe we helped some Tim, but you did the hard work, all of it, you had the strength to push yourself to your limits and beyond...and you kept going, you still are. Sky's the limit Tim, now go, get your show on the road."

Nate picked up the package from the desk.

"Come on Tim; let me help you with your gifts."

He carried the package out to the car and put it in the trunk. Tim shook Nate's hand once more, and gave him a warm smile.

"Nate...thanks for everything; when I first came out here...could have gone either way I guess. Without your help...talking to you, it helped me come to terms with everything, got me back on track, don't think I could have done it without you."

"We all need a little help sometimes Tim, I was happy to do it, and not just because it's my job; if you ever want to talk...about anything, you call me, any time...You're a good man Tim, I'm proud to have you as a friend."

Tim got into the car, and Ben steered it smoothly down the driveway. Tim waved at Nate until he couldn't see him any longer. Ben glanced briefly over his shoulder.

"You okay Tim?"

"I'm good, thanks for giving me time in there."

"Not a problem; so guys, are you ready to get OSP/DC up and running?"


	11. The Will To Change

6

**November 5**

The operations centre for OSP/DC was taking shape. Tim finally had somewhere to put the picture that the LA team had given to him, and he had a broad smile on his face as he imagined their reactions if they could see his current working conditions. Quin caught his eye and gave a crooked grin.

"Not exactly up to LA standards I admit, but I guess the Director had to work within the budget."

Tim swept his gaze around the windowless, featureless box that was to become the centre of his working life.

"It's not so bad Quin; and our place is out in the field on ops, we shouldn't be spending too much time here."

"But I will…"

Jemma was trying to personalise the space a little with plants and pictures, lots of postcards stuck on every available surface showing the sights of Washington DC.

"If we can't have a window, at least let's pretend we can see outside."

"Looking good Jemma, good to be reminded where we are."

Tim ducked as she threw a paper cup in his direction.

"Okay, so they're not exactly original, but I thought, you know OSP/DC…"

"Ignore him Jemma, just because Tim's lived here for years, he doesn't get that we may need some reminders of what's beyond these orange walls."

"So, do I take it from all this that you and I won't be interviewing potential recruits here?"

Quin sat on the edge of Tim's desk, and surveyed the room once more. Telling himself for the twentieth time that he'd make the right decision uprooting his family from the Californian sunshine; Quin knew it was a great career move, and he genuinely wanted to be in at the start of what could be a brilliant move by the Director, but it was a big responsibility…

"It's going to be fine Quin, just imagine it without the trailing wires and the electricians crawling around the floor."

He'd have to learn to hide his emotions a little better; Tim was too good at reading people…

"You're right, but no, I don't think we'll interview here, not unless we want our candidates to run screaming from the building."

**November 8**

The conference room had been reserved for their use, and Quinlan and Tim were making their way down the corridor, personnel folders in hand.

"McGee, it is good to see you."

"Hey Ziva! Can't stop…interviewing all day, I'll call you later."

He gave a brief wave and continued on his way. Ziva stood for a moment and watched him, watched them both as they went on their way. This was how it was now, a brief greeting, a very occasional meeting for lunch or a drink, but McGee was so busy, he had moved further away than ever even though he was right here on the Navy Yard.

She was pleased to see how well he was doing, she really was. But she was also sad that she had never seen him like this when he had been on their team. Looking back now, Ziva knew she had been guilty at times of not seeing Tim at all...he was there to do the computer work, chase the paper trails...when Gibbs wanted back-up he took Tony or herself...very rarely Tim; if only they had allowed him to fulfil his potential.

"Stop this..."

She startled herself by saying this aloud, this really had to stop, wishing things could be as they once were was useless. It was because of the way things had been that Tim left them, they failed to recognise and nurture his talents, and they now had to watch from the sidelines as he soared away from them.

With a shrug of her shoulders she continued on her way...too late to change things now, he wasn't coming back and they had to try and get along without him.

At the end of an exhausting day Quin pushed two files into the centre of the table.

"We're agreed? Seemed to me these were the outstanding applicants, great records, exactly the attitude we're looking for, aced all the aptitude tests…don't think we could do better. I think they'll complete the team."

Tim rolled his shoulders and tried to work the kinks out of his stiff neck.

"Couldn't agree more, do you want to sleep on it, or shall we tell the Director tonight?"

"Let's tell him now, get the paperwork started."

**November 12**

"It's great to have you on board Dwayne, put your stuff over there...you'll be sharing a desk with our other new recruit, Heather Kincaid for a while..."

"Not a problem Agent McGee."

"Tim, I told you, we're pretty informal round here. Unpack your gear, and then I'll talk you through the set-up."

Director Vance had been only too happy to approve the new appointments and expedite the transfers. Dwayne Wilson was already an NCIS agent, so it was easy to get him transferred immediately. Officer Heather Kincaid was still serving with Seattle PD, but she would be joining them on the 29th of the month; Vance was eager to get the team together, and he'd persuaded her superiors to waive some of her notice period. Quinlan was happy to have his team complete.

"She's one sassy lady; I think she's going to take to undercover work like…well, like you Tim."

He clapped his Senior Field Agent on the shoulder.

"Thanks Quin, I did have a few hairy moments starting out..."

"Only way to learn on this job Tim, by doing."

"You're right, and I'm pretty sure she'll do a great job; she certainly made a big impression on Tony."

"Tony DiNozzo? When did he meet her?"

"When Ziva was gone, we were looking for replacements, Heather came for a meeting."

"Then you got Ziva back…"

"Yeah, but I remembered what Tony said about her…she could be a natural…"

**November 15**

Tony was sitting at his desk, reading yet more personnel files; the Director had given Gibbs until the end of business Wednesday to shortlist a permanent replacement for Tim…impossible. That was the word that kept drumming through his head all morning; how do you replace the irreplaceable? He slammed down the last folder from his pile and glanced over at Ziva's desk; she had more folders, but as she caught his eye she shook her head.

"Nothing Tony, we will have to go through those…"

About twenty more folders were stacked on Gibbs' desk. He'd told them that if he didn't get out of MTAC they were to read the files on his desk. Reluctantly, Tony went over and grabbed the files, he handed half to Ziva and took the rest himself.

He dropped them onto his desk and was about to sit down when he noticed the Director and a petite woman walking purposefully toward MTAC…so that was Henrietta Lange. It had been the talk of NCIS all day that the fearsome Operations Manager from LA would be visiting to inspect the OSP/DC , and Tony had it on good authority that there were some problems with the new communications set up…from the look on Ms Lange's face she was already aware of the problems.

Tony smiled mischievously. McGee was going to have his work cut out dealing with her; she certainly didn't look like the kind of woman who would settle for second best. His smile broadened as McGee rounded the corner, this should be good…he leaned back in his chair to enjoy the floor show.

Tim was frowning slightly; he was intent on getting into MTAC to check the comm. links through their computers. He spotted Hetty, and his expression changed from serious to smiling in an instant. He ran toward her and lifted her off her feet.

"Hetty! It's so good to see you!"

"Special Agent McGee! Will you put me down?"

Doing as he was asked, Tim gave a deep bow.

"Your wish is my command."

Hetty was grinning broadly as she turned to Vance.

"Leon; I am aware that some of my colleagues in Los Angeles may be a little...unconventional, but I had always been under the impression that standards of behaviour were better here in DC."

Vance shook his head.

"You're not laying this at my door Hetty; Special Agent McGee's behaviour was exemplary until he went out to LA."

Hetty wagged her finger at Tim.

"We will continue this conversation over dinner this evening young man."

Tim smiled.

"I'll pick you up at 7.30...I'm looking forward to it."

They went their separate ways and Tony sat open-mouthed...what the hell just happened? Had he really just watched his former Probie actually pick up Henrietta Lange, the woman who could strike fear into even the hardened political hearts on Capitol Hill? He shook his head...and the words of an old Joni Mitchell song went drifting through his head. 'You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.'

"Tony! Stop staring, and let us find McGee's replacement."

He sat back at his desk, but as he opened yet another personnel file, he knew that whoever the new team member was, they would never replace Tim.

**November 22**

Abby was catching up on reading the latest forensic journal when she heard the swish of her lab door; she wasn't expecting anyone, last she heard Gibbs and the team didn't have a new case. A broad smile lit up her face when she saw her visitor.

"Tim! How are you doing?"

He returned her smile.

"I'm good Abs. I'm taking my new buddy on a tour of the building, and we saved the best 'til last. Pete, say hi to my best friend...Abby, this is Peter Quinlan."

The young boy peeped out from behind Tim's legs and started open-mouthed. He tugged at Tim's jacket.

"She's got a spider's web on her neck!"

Tim put his hand gently on the boy's head.

"I know – cool isn't it?"

Abby stooped down and held out her hand, after a moment's hesitation Pete smiled and put his hand in hers.

"Welcome to my lab Pete, would you like to look around? I think I may have some candy around here someplace...oh, are you allowed candy?"

"We can take some and check with his mom, she's with his dad in the Director's office...Come on let's take a look, Abby has some extra cool toys."

Abby had a great time showing Pete around, and she enjoyed it all the more because Tim was there too. She hadn't seen him in the lab for weeks; sure they still saw each other outside work, but she missed the easy way they used to share each others' work spaces...the Director had already asked her to help OSP/DC with any forensic evidence they may collect; and she had agreed without a second thought...it would mean she'd be mega busy at times, but if it meant she'd get to see Tim more often, she'd take the extra work any day.

"Okay Pete, it's about time we were getting back; your mom will be looking for us."

"Aw...do you have to go?"

"'Fraid so Abs. Pete's got a busy day ahead, he's visiting his new school this afternoon...come on sport, let's go."

Peter held on tight to his candy, and slipped his other hand into Tim's.

"Thank you for the candy Abby, your lab is excellent...see ya!"

"Thanks Abs - come on, let's get you upstairs before I get into trouble."

They both waved as they headed for the elevator, Peter chattering away to Tim. Abby waved back and gave a wistful smile...he's going to be a great dad one day.

And maybe that day wouldn't be so very far away…Abby was going to meet Verity next week, she was visiting DC for Thanksgiving, and Tim wanted to introduce her to Abby. He'd never done that with any of his other girlfriends…looked like this could be the one. Abby hoped so, she knew deep down that she would never have been right for Tim; he wanted a life that she could never share. But Verity…Abby smiled a little wider as she sat back at her desk…she's check her out next week, and if she thought she was good enough for Tim, Abby would make sure Verity knew what a great guy she was getting.

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	12. Chapter 12

9

**Let This Life Begin**

**1 December**

"Heather Kincaid? Hi, I'm Dwayne Wilson...Agents Quinlan and McGee wanted to be here to meet you, but they're bringing a suspect into interrogation right now. They asked me to get you through security."

"No problem...I was beginning to think there was some kind of curse over me ever working here…when my testimony was delayed in Seattle I was worried that it would be weeks before I could move."

"The guy changed his plea?"

"Yeah, finally realised he wasn't worming his way out of the charges…it feels so good to be here again, and to be staying...I've been waiting for months to get a chance here at NCIS."

Armed with her new ID, badge and gun Heather joined Dwayne as they made their way to the observation room.

"We've been having all kinds of problems with communications since the day we fired up the system, but Tim…Agent McGee, he traced the glitch, well, wasn't a glitch, it was sabotage."

"Inside NCIS? How could that happen?"

Dwayne shrugged.

"Usual way, someone looking for more money than they were making the regular way. Here we are, thought you might like to see the rest of the team in action."

They stood together and watched through the glass.

"Do not lie to me Morrissey. We know you tried to put listening devices inside the power cabling. Did you not stop to think that an office of special projects would have cameras _in_ the office?"

The man was staring defiantly at Quinlan.

"Your cameras don't show anything...I know what I did; I fixed the power in that office...that's all I did."

Tim turned his laptop so that Morrissey could see the screen, he opened a picture file.

"We don't just have cameras Dave, we have image enhancing software...and this shows you attempting to sabotage a Federal Agency...now I know you're just the foot soldier here, someone is pulling your strings...just tell me who paid you to do this..."

"You can't keep me here, I know my rights."

Tim leaned in close as he snapped shut the laptop.

"But that's just it Dave, you don't have any. I call this a breach of National Security, and you're gone...or...you give me a name, and we cancel your flight to Gitmo."

Morrissey turned to Quinlan, the panic plain to see in his eyes.

"He…he can't do that…can he?"

"Oh he can, and he will…unless you give us a name."

Morrissey grabbed the pen and scribbled a name and address on the notepad in front of him. Quin picked up the pad, and with Tim by his side, headed out the door; the agent on guard outside stepped in to take charge of Morrissey. As they were passing the door to observation Dwayne stepped out with Heather.

"Hey guys…our new team member is here."

Barely breaking stride Quin asked.

"Have you been assigned a weapon Heather?"

"Yes sir."

"No sirs here…Quin will do fine. Let's move...looks like the full OSP/DC team has our first dirt bag to bring in…are you ready?"

Heather looked at the three men, and gave a broad smile.

"Absolutely!"

She joined them as they made their way to the parking lot, if this is what life on the new team was going to be like…bring it on!

**December 10**

With one would-be saboteur and his paymaster in custody, and their first undercover operation successfully completed, the OSP team was enjoying some well deserved R & R, alongside some of their NCIS colleagues.

"So Heather, not only walking and talking at the same time, but you play a mean call girl too; or so I hear…"

Tim couldn't help laughing, try as he might, Tony could never really change.

"She was great Tony, that guy never knew what hit him…"

They were having a drink at a favourite after work haunt. Tim had spoken to Quinlan about the importance of the OSP team getting to know the other agents at NCIS Headquarters. After all the plan was to use any available personnel to augment their own rather thin ranks as and when necessary; and it was always easier to work with people when you knew them as people rather than just names on a roster. Quin had been happy to go along, and he completely understood when Tim asked if their first foray into this social plan could be with his old team…

"I think they still feel as if they owe me something because of what happened last year…but I want them to know, it's done…we all need to move on, make new connections…new friendships…"

And looking round at the smiling faces Quin had to agree, new friends were important, and in their line of work, you never knew when one of these new friends would be the difference between living and dying.

Tim handed Tony a fresh beer, and sat down beside him.

"Looks like Owens is working out okay."

They both glanced at the young man sitting beside Ziva, he was hanging on her every word, and she was smiling at his obvious hero worship. Simon Owens had come to them from the Pearl Harbor office, and he'd obviously never seen anyone quite like Ziva out in the midst of the Pacific. Tony nodded slowly.

"He'll be fine when he stops thinking we all walk on water because we're on the MCRT, and starts to remember he's on the team too."

"You helping him with that Tony?"

Tony looked into Tim's eyes with total understanding.

"I'm doing better with him than I did with you Tim. I guess I'm not such an insecure jerk…look Tim…"

"No Tony, we made a deal…no more what could have been. He looks as if he's settling in just fine, and I know you have to be helping him, even if you try to say different…"

Tony smiled, and called over to Simon.

"Hey Hula Boy…tell Tim here how I'm looking out for you."

Simon raised his eyebrows, and Ziva put her hand on his shoulder with a smile.

"We are all looking out for him McGee, he is our Probie, and we all have a responsibility to guide him."

Tony nodded his agreement.

"You got that right Ziva…come on Simon, what do I tell you about your predecessor?"

Simon looked over at Tim, and for a moment he was completely serious.

"Tony tells me…I'm good; I'm not Tim, but I'll do…"

Tim glanced at Tony in mock amazement.

"Was there a compliment in there somewhere Tony?"

"Hey, don't let it go to your head, McSpecialOps."

"As if!"

**December 17**

Tim was first in as usual, he liked getting in before anyone else; gave him chance to get his head together for the day without distractions, but this morning he had another reason for getting in early. He picked up the two cups of coffee he had got on the way in, and headed to the bull pen. As he had hoped Gibbs was sitting alone at his desk.

"Gibbs; thought you could use a coffee."

"Always Tim; what brings you here?"

Tim took a sip from his own cup, and sat down at Ziva's desk.

"I...this is going to sound weird."

"Don't see how, I work with Tony…and Abby, they have their own new definitions of weird every day."

Tim gave a quick smile, but then he scooted the chair a little closer to Gibbs' desk.

"I've been thinking a lot about…last year, the accident…seems like so much has happened since that night…My life is so different now, new job, new apartment…"

"When did that happen?"

Tim blushed a little.

"My place wasn't really ideal…too small, well I hope it's too small…Verity's moving out here, she starts work in DC next semester."

"I didn't know, that's good news Tim."

This time Tim's smile was one of genuine warmth.

"It's great news…and maybe one day…I'll need that bigger apartment."

Gibbs was genuinely pleased for Tim, he hadn't met Verity as yet, but she'd impressed Abby, and she was a pretty hard judge where Tim's girlfriends were concerned. But he knew Tim hadn't come down here just to tell him about his apartment.

"So, what's on your mind?"

"This is the weird part…I've been thinking about going back…to Northwest Branch Park."

"Where we found you…"

"Told you it was weird, it's…I feel I need to go back there before I can finally break free from those memories, start fresh…do you understand?"

"I've never been in that situation Tim, but I think I do, you need to see where you were that night, maybe understand how close you came to not moving on…"

**December 18**

The Porsche was parked at the end of Bluff Terrace as Gibbs had directed, and Tim and Verity were waiting for him to arrive. He'd offered to come and show Tim exactly where they had found him on that wintry morning last December, Tim was staring out at the woodland, but he had no recollection of this place, none at all…

"Is this Gibbs, Tim?"

He was startled out of his reverie by Verity's question.

"Yeah…you wait in the car, I'll talk to him."

"But I thought we were both going to see…"

He silenced her with a kiss.

"We are, let me get directions…then I'll come get you, okay?"

"Okay, hurry back."

Tim stepped out into the cold air, and waited for Gibbs to join him at the roadside.

"Hey Gibbs, thanks for taking time out of your Saturday."

"Least I could do Tim; if you need to come here, then you should know the exact spot where we found you. See that clump of shrubs? There's a stream running by them, that's where you were lying."

Gibbs scanned the sparse woodland; and for a moment the sunlight of a bright December afternoon was obliterated by the memories of a headlong dash through the rain-drenched trees…

"Gibbs; are you okay?"

"Fine Tim, it's this place…we thought we'd lost you that day…turned out we were right."

"But if you hadn't come looking for me…I would have died out here. I don't think I ever thanked you for that…you saved my life, I owe you."

"It was because of the stupid way we behaved that you were even out here…makes us even I guess…and now you've got a new team, you're really leaving us behind."

"Oh, you don't get rid of me so easy…I'll be around the Navy Yard, and who knows, we may even need a guy with a Marine background and military haircut on an undercover op."

"Stranger things have happened Tim, if you need anything, or anyone…."

"You can be sure I'll call, thanks for everything...Boss."

They both smiled at Tim's use of that term.

"You taught me so much…I know I've still got a lot to learn..."

"You never stop learning Tim, I thought I knew everything about my team, I was wrong. That's a lesson I've had to learn, it's tougher for me I guess, old dog – new tricks. But I will do better, and I will try my best not to make the same mistakes I did with you."

"It seems like you're all doing great with Owens."

"He's greener than you were when you joined the team."

Tim laughed aloud.

"I wouldn't have thought that was possible."

"Oh believe me, it is…but he's getting there…"

Gibbs glanced at Tim's car.

"Is that Verity?"

Gibbs noticed the way Tim's expression softened as he looked at her.

"Yes…oh, you should meet her."

"Not right now; you need to do this together. I'll meet her at Abby's Christmas party."

"But you never come to those."

"I will this year…Now, get over there Tim, we're your past, she's your future. You're a lucky man, Verity has given up her job, her friends; she's moved away from her family, all to be with you."

Tim turned to Gibbs with a bemused smile on his face.

"I still can't believe she did all that...for me."

"What have I told you?"

"Don't sell myself short...I know...I love her so much, it frightens me sometimes that I may lose her again."

Gibbs put his arm round Tim's shoulders.

"You can't worry about that...take it from someone who knows, make the most of every minute you have together. And now is a pretty good time to get started; go on Tim."

Gibbs got back in his car and waved as he watched Tim and Verity begin their walk to the place that could have claimed his life. He was smiling as he pulled away and headed home; maybe Abby was right, and they'd be getting wedding invitations before next year was done.

They made their way carefully to the spot that Gibbs had indicated, even after several days of dry weather the uneven ground was still slippery. Tim tried hard to remember this place, but he could only remember fragments of that night, and as he surveyed the area again he realised how lucky he had been. Had he slipped into the ice cold stream he wouldn't have lasted until morning...as it was, he'd barely been hanging on to life when Gibbs and the others found him.

"It was right here Gibbs said…I don't really remember getting here…Jethro…I'd been with Jethro when he…died. I remember walking, and walking…it was raining…"

Verity linked her arm through his, and couldn't stop the tears falling.

"If they hadn't found you…oh Tim…"

He pulled her closer, and wiped the tears from her face.

"Hey, don't cry; we're together now, and nothing's going to come between us ever again."

She gave a tearful giggle into his coat.

"Not even my stubborn pig-headedness."

She leaned against him, and he revelled in their closeness.

"Not even that…you know, that's one of the two things I regret about the last twelve months…being away from you because I lied to you, that was …"

"My fault Tim, not yours…I realise that now, when you're undercover you have to be another person, and I have to deal with that. I can do that now…I've grown up a little…You said two things…"

"Losing Jethro…I still miss him, crazy I know…I didn't want him at the start. But we got along and…I wish he was still here."

"So do I, I'd have enjoyed meeting him."

He kissed the top of her head, and gazed wistfully out at the dipping sun.

"But that's just it, if I hadn't been so upset…and angry that night, I wouldn't have gone on that crazy walk and ended up here…or LA…I wouldn't have my new team…"

"And we wouldn't have met."

"Now that's something I don't want to think about…I can't imagine my life without you."

"Good job you don't have to…I'm here to stay Tim."

"And I couldn't be happier."

Tim took her in his arms and held her as close as he could...he took one last look at the bare trees, and the cold stream, and led her back to the car.

"I think we're done here; this place...it belongs to who I was; not who I am. Come on Verity, let's go home."

THE END

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